It’s great having a guy who replies to texts immediately. But what if he doesn’t actually exist?
Chris Ritter / BuzzFeed.
When I first heard about Invisible Boyfriend, I have to admit I was thrilled. At last, I screeched at everyone within earshot, Build-A-Bae! For a fee, the service provides text messages, voicemails, and even a photo to create the illusion of a physically distant though textually attentive romantic interest.
According to the service's creator Matt Homann, there are many reasons people might need Invisible Boyfriends. "Maybe they're in a same-sex relationship they're hiding from disapproving relatives, are trying to avoid the unwelcome advances from a coworker, or have chosen to focus on their work instead of romance," Homann told BuzzFeed. The ideal subscriber, then, is a pragmatist, someone who sees the service, not as an escape, but as an escape tool.
I visited the website where you can build your fictional beau from scratch. I had to pick out a name for him, as well as personality traits, interests, and, natch, generically good looks. (I picked a devilishly handsome white dude because old habits die hard.) I also wrote out a backstory for the two of us — how we met, what's his deal, the works — all to bolster the believability of this romantic decoy.
Invisible Boyfriend / Via invisibleboyfriend.com
Then, to create a false digital trail of courtship to lead nosy third parties astray, I had to give the service my phone number. That way, I could text my Invisible Boyfriend and he'd actually reply — capped monthly at 50 texts I could send him and 50 texts I'd get back — but only after I subscribed to the service. It's $25 a month, the price of a decent dinner and cocktail for one.
I pulled out a credit card.
I'd been facing the millennial conundrum of textually unresponsive men. I'd grown tired of the anxiety produced by ellipses in gray speech bubbles, daylong gaps in between hellos before the hellos would fade into good-byes. Sure, I have plenty of time on my hands, but it's just time I want to share.
So the idea that a romantic avatar would reply to my good morning's and how are you's in a timely and lovely fashion was something I wanted to try on for size. While I could never actually date or sleep with an online service, experimenting with a prompt pen pal was worth the dinner and the drink. In theory, I had nothing to gain from an Invisible Boyfriend; I also had nothing to lose.