Cocktails in Freedom Bar, brunch in Balans.
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1. Carrie would actually be called Carl.
2. He'd be a freelance writer with a regular column in Attitude magazine.
3. Carl would be the type to take screenshots from Grindr and tweet about them.
4. Samantha would be called Sam.
5. He would work in PR, handling reality stars from TOWIE and Made in Chelsea.
6. Sam would pay for Grindr Xtra and his profile picture would be him in his briefs.
7. Sam would also demand to see dick pics before hooking up with someone because he's a size queen that refuses to be let down.
8. Charlotte aka Charlie would work in the Tate Modern.
9. Charlie would be constantly frustrated about the lack of romance left in the dating world.
10. His Grindr profile would read: "Deleting this soon."
11. Miranda would be called Matt.
12. He'd be a Durham law graduate working in London Bridge.
13. Matt would pay for a Tinder subscription so he'd have unlimited Super Likes.
14. All the boys would live in zone two except Sam, who would live in Vauxhall.
15. Carl would live in Clapham aka the gayest borough ever.
16. The boys would pre-drink at Carl's so they could just walk over the road to Two Brewers on a Saturday night.
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17. They would have after-work cocktails in Freedom Bar.
18. And they'd have brunch at Balans too often.
19. Charlie would beg the boys to go to Heaven at least once a month.
20. Sam would hate this because someone once told him he was too old to be a twink.
21. Sam would drag the boys to XXL every so often.
22. He'd disappear to the "bathroom".
23. Charlie would accidentally stumble into the dark room and it would give him nightmares for weeks.
24. Instead of Mr Big, Carl would be having a love affair with a banker from Canary Wharf.
25. The other boys would nickname him "Daddy".
26. Carl and Daddy would break up the first time because Sam would see Daddy in the dark room at XXL.
27. After the break-up, Carl would see Daddy taking an otter home from Two Brewers.
28. Matt would be in an on-off relationship with a barman from GAY Late.
29. Sam would be a "gym member" at Sweatbox.
30. Charlie would make sure all the boys went to Dean Street Express every three months for their check-ups.