Quantcast
Channel: BuzzFeed - LGBTQ
Viewing all 9390 articles
Browse latest View live

We Asked A Queer Teenager To Fact-Check This Anti-Safe Schools Flyer

$
0
0

Oscar Kaspi-Crutchett, 16, is from Perth and identifies as queer.

Oscar Kaspi-Crutchett, 16, is from Perth and identifies as queer.

Arran Morton

Oscar is part of Save Safe Schools WA, a community organisation that wants the LGBTI anti-bullying program Safe Schools Coalition to continue, and volunteers with the Labor party.

In recent weeks the Safe Schools program has made headlines in Western Australia, ahead of the state election on Saturday.

Perth suburbs have been deluged by the group All Kids Matter with material railing against the program. A flyer claimed Safe Schools Coalition was not an anti-bullying program and was "bad for kids". It also warned voters against supporting Labor and the Greens.

Greens MLC Lynn MacLaren said the flyers had created a "fair bit of anger" among her constituents.

"It’s very worrying that parents are being inundated with lies and misinformation about an initiative that could – and does – save lives," she said.

So we asked Oscar to fact-check some of the claims made in the flyer.

Out In Perth / Supplied Arran Morton

Flyer: Safe Schools is not an anti-bullying program, but "a radical gender ideology program".

Oscar: "The [idea] that this is some kind of overarching political manoeuvre, it's ridiculous. When Safe Schools does come into schools, it's not gender ideology. It's in the form of talks, posters and assistance to teachers. If that's gender ideology... I can't even begin to respond to that. It is so outlandish.

"There's a personal story about someone I know that the Safe Schools Coalition really assisted. He's around 11, and he was transitioning. The SSC came into the school, they talked to the students about what he was doing, what it meant, and how they could help him. The students all understood. It wasn't radical – they said, 'From now on, you can call him this'. And because the kids had it explained to them in a way that was logical, it made everything easier for him."

Flyer: The program encourages boys in girls' toilets, change rooms and sporting teams.

The Safe Schools Coalition recommends transgender children be allowed to use facilities that align with their gender identity – so transgender girls in the girls' bathroom, and vice versa.

Oscar: "That kind of language displays nothing but ignorance, and it's just mean. The insistence on referring to [transgender people] with pronouns and names that they actively say, 'Hey, this makes me uncomfortable, don't do it' – it just cements the need for the Safe Schools Coalition."

Flyer: "All kids matter" – more effective anti-bullying programs are not LGBTI-specific.

Oscar: "For as long as we've had education in Australia, it's been that LGBTI kids don't matter. This program doesn't provide funds to LGBTI students, it doesn't do anything like that. It doesn't put them on a pedestal above anyone else.

"I agree that all kids do matter – but that's why I support Safe Schools. Saying 'all kids matter' means need you need to protect LGBTI kids, trans kids, too."

Flyer: "Safe Schools normalises early sexual activity and trivialises STDs."

Oscar: "I don't think sexual activity is really explored that much in the Safe Schools program at all. But where it is, they are taking a harm reduction approach more than a 'don't do it' approach. They're being realistic. They're saying, if you do it, these are the concerns, and this is what you need to be aware of.

"Saying it encourages sexual activity is a basic and poor analysis of what the program is trying to achieve."

Out in Perth / Supplied Arran Morton

WA politicians from all sides have weighed in on the program in recent weeks. Federal funding runs out midway through this year.

Premier Colin Barnett will not allocate state funding to continue the program in WA if the Coalition wins on Saturday.

"I do not support the Safe Schools program in any way," he told the Australian Christian Lobby's leaders' debate.

"From my knowledge of it – I've never read the material, but I've heard fellow members of parliament describing it – it encourages experimentation, promiscuity, to very young children getting down into primary schools."

The Labor Party has pledged $1.4 million over four years to continue the program.

Labor leader Mark McGowan pointed to higher suicide rates among young people who identified as gay.

"It is a major problem," he said. "There are also problems with young people who identify as gay with being bullied at school."

Greens MLC Lynn MacLaren told BuzzFeed News the party had a policy of rolling out Safe Schools to all high schools as well as TAFEs. She said it's "very, very sad" to see the program used as a political weapon in the WA election.

"I find it baffling that those in a position of influence within the government and elsewhere would work against, and deny support to, some of the country’s most vulnerable young people."

One Nation leader Pauline Hanson told 6PR radio's Mornings program that Safe Schools is "absolutely bloody ridiculous".

Following Barnett's declaration at the ACL candidate forum that he does not support Safe Schools, an audience member yelled: "You just won the election, sir!"

"No I didn't," Barnett replied. "Not on that."



This Gay Couple Is Worried Trump's Refugee And Immigration Ban Will Keep Them Apart

$
0
0

Paul Harrison lives in Texas but travels frequently to visit his fiancé in Iran, where homosexuality is illegal.

When Paul Harrison leaves his home in Texas to visit his fiancé, every moment they have together is precious. Not only because they are going on two years of a long-distance relationship, but because Harrison's fiancé lives in Iran, where homosexuality is illegal and punishable by law.

When Paul Harrison leaves his home in Texas to visit his fiancé, every moment they have together is precious. Not only because they are going on two years of a long-distance relationship, but because Harrison's fiancé lives in Iran, where homosexuality is illegal and punishable by law.

HRC

A video featuring the couple, released by HRC today, shares their story and the couple's concern about how President Trump's latest refugee and travel executive order will impact their wedding plans.

Harrison's fiancé, whose identity is not revealed in the video to protect his identity, is due to arrive in the the states in less than three months.

With President Trump's revised executive order taking effect on March 16, the couple is fighting to remain optimistic. The order states that people from Sudan, Syria, Iran, Libya, Somalia, and Yemen who are outside the United States and don’t have a valid visa “are not eligible to travel” to the US for 90 days.

youtube.com

Harrison and his fiancé travel to Turkey as often as they can to be together in a relatively safe environment. In the video, Harrison describes one visit when the two traveled together to Istanbul where they could finally show affection for one another in public — something his fiancé could never do in Iran.

Harrison and his fiancé travel to Turkey as often as they can to be together in a relatively safe environment. In the video, Harrison describes one visit when the two traveled together to Istanbul where they could finally show affection for one another in public — something his fiancé could never do in Iran.

"One of the first things he wanted to do was kiss me in public, he didn't care who was watching," Harrison says in the video.

"Because I am gay there is a lot of pressure on me," Harrison's fiancé told BuzzFeed News. "Gay people cannot have self-confidence. In Iran, you must not let people know you are gay because it will affect you all your life."

Harrison added that his fiancé has been able to come out to two very close male friends in Iran. "He was very relieved that neither one of them killed him," he said. "He was just joking, but at the same time, it was a huge confession for him to make. Gays and lesbians simply cannot have any kind of good life in Iran."

HRC


View Entire List ›

This 1970 Explanation Of How Many Women Are Lesbians Is Truly Incredible

$
0
0

“One would be capable of lesbianism only under extreme circumstances.”

In 1970 the ABC current affairs show This Day Tonight tackled the issue of LESBIANS.

In 1970 the ABC current affairs show This Day Tonight tackled the issue of LESBIANS.

ABC TV

In a 13 minute segment, currently available on ABC iView, reporter Peter Couchman interviewed Australian lesbians about their lives and attended a meeting of the Australasian Lesbian Movement.

The segment opened with newborn babies screaming in hospital cots, and the voiceover: "It's quite feasible that at least one of these babies will grow up to be homosexual. Even though there's a strong scientific theory that says none of them has actually been born that way. In fact, at birth, they were all potentially bisexual. But already, after only a couple of days, they've begun a so-called learning process that will virtually teach them to be heterosexual. Like any other kind of education, there'll be some dropouts from the system."

Using footage of 100 schoolgirls standing on an oval, Couchman explained how many women were likely to be homosexual.

Using footage of 100 schoolgirls standing on an oval, Couchman explained how many women were likely to be homosexual.

ABC TV

Utilising the research of noted sexologist Alfred Kinsey, Couchman said: "Kinsey first formulated the notion that some people learn to be better heterosexuals than others, and that for some unknown reason, girls do much better at it than boys.

"In a sample group like this, for instance, there'll tend to be fewer homosexuals among the girls than in a group of boys the same size. It's probably because lesbianism is relatively inconspicuous, that a lot of people find it difficult to believe that it really does exist.

"This is how the figures work out for 100 girls..."


View Entire List ›

New Mexico May Become Seventh State To Ban LGBT Conversion Therapy

$
0
0

AP / Morgan Lee

New Mexico appears set to become the seventh state in the US to pass a bill that bans health care workers from trying to change the sexual orientation or gender identity of minors, according to a top lawmaker there who calls so-called LGBT conversion therapy “a misnomer, a sham.”

House Speaker Brian Egolf told BuzzFeed News, “You don’t know for sure until the roll call is taken, but we feel confident for the prospects for the bill.”

Although the governor, Republican Susana Martinez, has not asserted her position, Egolf added, “This doesn’t seem to be developing as a partisan issue, which is very good.”

The victory would come as religious conservatives have blocked LGBT nondiscrimination measures in states around the country over the past several years, while Republicans have filed hundreds of bills to limit the rights of same-sex couples and transgender people.

Senate Bill 121 would amend the state’s Unfair Practice Act to ban licensed health care professionals from any “treatment that seeks to change a person's sexual orientation or gender identity, including any effort to change behaviors or gender expressions or to eliminate or reduce sexual or romantic attractions or feelings toward persons of the same sex.”

It passed the New Mexico senate on a 32-6 vote last month, and a House committee advanced the bill on Wednesday. Egolf, the House's top Democrat, expects it to pass another committee and win approval from his full chamber.

New Jersey, California, Oregon, Illinois, New York, and Vermont have similar policies.

New Mexico Attorney General Hector Balderas, an outspoken backer of the legislation, said it “has not has created polarization you’ve experienced in other states.”

“I’m Catholic and Hispanic,” he said in an interview with BuzzFeed News, “and I just believe that our community needs to ensure there are protections to minimize discrimination and that no government institution or professional practice should harm a child. For me, the debate starts at that point.”

Balderas added that his office has been in touch with New Mexico residents who experienced conversion therapy, which he called a “dangerous practice devoid of any real science”

Mental health professionals have widely condemned the practice as dangerous and unnecessary.

The American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Counseling Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, and others said in a 2008 report that they have “all taken the position that homosexuality is not a mental disorder and thus is not something that needs to or can be ‘cured.’”

But there was resistance to the bill in a committee meeting on Wednesday, where Rep. Rebecca Dow, a Republican, questioned its potential impact on Christians.

“If someone is a licensed therapist, and they are a Christian therapist, and they are operating under a religious—” she paused. “Would they lose their license?”

One father who came to testify, Gilbert Pino, wished he had given his son conversion therapy.

“We had no idea when he was young,” he told the House Health and Human Services Committee on Wedensday. “We found out when he grew up. We would have loved to have therapy at the time…we could have really used it."

"This bill really, really, it is not a good bill," he continued. "If we do away with these kind of things, the availability to do this…how will we tell between conversion therapy and therapy?”

Lawmakers then voted 5-2 to send the bill to the Judiciary Committee.

Governor Martinez’s office did not answer a question about her stance on the bill.

The bill's House sponsor, Rep. Andres Romero, said he has heard from constituents concerned the bill would infringe on their faith. However, he added, “People can talk about their religion, but the cannot use their religion to try to actively change who someone fundamentally is.”

The One Nation "Gay Nazi Mind Control" Candidate Says She Was Misquoted

$
0
0

The One Nation candidate who said LGBT people use a Nazi-style mind control program to convince others to support same-sex marriage now claims she was "misquoted" on the issue.

Facebook: Michelle Meyers

Michelle Meyers is the candidate for far right nationalist party One Nation in the seat of Bateman in Western Australia's state election on Saturday.

Her outlandish comments about LGBT people and mind control attracted widespread attention in February. Neither Meyers nor federal One Nation MPs responded to questions about her views at the time.

But when faced on Thursday with a reporter from Out in Perth – the West Australian LGBT news website that broke the story – Meyers finally spoke on the issue.

At a function with party leader Pauline Hanson at the Mount Hawthorn pub, Meyers told Out in Perth they had "trolled her big time".

“I never said that," she said. “I was misquoted, you never looked into any of the references that I put up and I was told that you were out to bag me because I don’t support your view.”

Asked if she stood by her implication that same-sex parented families are "fake families", Meyers said: “Yeah, they are, they’re fake families.”

Facebook: Michelle Meyers

Here is what Meyers wrote on Facebook in full:

"Are you wondering why even some Christians are being swayed by the gender industry’s pitch and push 4 same sex ‘marriage’ and acceptance of fake families?

"It’s not by accident; it’s by a carefully contrived but disingenuous mind control program, melded together by two Norwegian homosexuals who graduated from Harvard – one whom has since prematurely passed away. It’s by a design covert to the general public but fully practiced and promoted by the LGBTIQQMA/P community.

"Utilising many of the strategies developed by the Soviets and then the Nazis, they have gone on to apply and perfect these principles so as to make them universal in their application – but with devastating results considering the counter productive nature of such 'unions'.

"It's time 4 Christians to wake up to what's going and stop being duped by those whose interests are self serving but unnatural, unproductive and unhealthy. It's time to stop aiding and abetting those whose intent is to further mar the image of those created by God to reflect HIS image – NOT a broken and fake identity cobbled together by the gender industry."

In the same post, she linked out to an article titled Why Have So Many Christians and Churches Become Pro-Gay?

Milo Yiannopoulos Calls Abuse Victims "Whinging, Selfish Brats" In A Newly Emerged Video

$
0
0

Twitter

Following the scandal last month that engulfed Milo Yiannopolous over his remarks about sexual abuse, another video has resurfaced showing the former senior editor at Breitbart News attacking survivors of clerical abuse as "whinging, selfish brats", and erroneously claiming that a disproportionate number of gay men are paedophiles.

In an interview with Gavin McInnes on his eponymous US internet chat show – originally aired in 2015 on Compound Media – Yiannopoulos, responding to a remark by the host regarding priests who abuse children, said: "The real problem I have is all these people who suddenly remember they were abused 20 years later and suddenly decide that it was a problem – whinging, selfish brats."

He added: "I mean, my god, it’s really not that big a deal. You can't let it ruin your life – so someone fiddled with you, so what?"

In the video, shared by the Reagan Battalion Twitter account, which identifies itself as a conservative news source, McInnes, a Catholic British-Canadian, interjected by saying Catholic priests are "not fucking 2-year-olds, they're fucking pubescent boys – they're gays."

Yiannopoulos did not refute this, but instead agreed that "in many cases they are gay", adding, "Although I'm reluctant to hear a bad thing about the Catholic church, you know, if it hadn’t been for Father Michael I would have earned a fraction of what I did in my twenties."

The "Father Michael" in question was also alluded to by Yiannopolous in the now notorious video that emerged in February – from January 2016 – in which he appeared to suggest that underage adolescent boys might benefit from sexual relations with older men. That video, from the podcast Drunken Peasants, was released by the conservative website Reagan Battalion, which appears to be behind the release of this latest footage.

The remarks, widely condemned, led to the commentator losing his $250,000 book deal with Simon & Schuster, being disinvited to speak at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), and resigning from Breitbart, the far-right news website.

Drew Angerer / Getty Images

In response to the outcry Yiannopoulis denied defending paedophilia, calling it a "vile and disgusting crime", and tried to clarify his remarks by saying he was referring to boys over the age of 16.

Earlier in the video that resurfaced most recently, in response to McInnes asking about Britain "Isn't everyone a paedophile over there?", Yiannopoulos said: "Well no, I mean, there’s this great taboo against conflating homosexuals with paedophiles and you’re not allowed to say that of course these things exist on a spectrum and that there is of course a huge, disproportionate overlap between homosexual men and paedophiles versus heterosexual men."

At the end of the video, he added: "I wouldn’t give nearly such good head if it weren’t for my priest. I just don’t see the big deal.”

Yiannopoulos had not responded to BuzzFeed News' request for comment at time of publication.

By Day This Man Is A Political Adviser, By Night He's A Drag Queen

$
0
0

In a white, cramped bedroom in Clapham, south London, one of the Scottish National Party’s most trusted senior political advisers is pursing his lips to sweep dark rouge up his cheekbone. He smears eyeshadow next, in multicoloured arches over his brow, but leaves the eyelashes bare.

“I’m a drag queen in trainers – why should I wear falsies?” he says.

Nathan Sparling is 26, 6’5”, and not ungenerously proportioned. “I have an overactive knife and fork,” he quips.

His voice is cavernous and meaty, bellowing out his Fife accent with such tuba-like brio that should his career in politics and drag implode he might sensibly consider a job as a town crier.

On a shelf to his right sits a dark wig, a huge beige bra, and an epic vodka and Coke. The air is so thick with hairspray you can taste it.

A week ago, his backroom strategising and campaigning helped secure a major victory for the SNP in the House of Commons: a vote 138–1 in favour of a bill introduced by one of their MPs to ratify the Istanbul Convention, which imposes a minimum requirement on countries to tackle violence against women.

“History – signed, sealed, delivered,” he tweeted from his politics account @nathansparkling. “Proud to have made a small part in making #ICBill a reality.”

This evening, as a laptop perches on his bed playing a Pet Shop Boys gig, Sparling is preparing to become Nancy Clench, host of the weekly karaoke night at one of Soho’s most famous institutions: the Admiral Duncan pub. She also has a regular spot at Heaven, London’s biggest LGBT club. And her own Twitter account. Nancy Clench is a star.

When BuzzFeed News first met her, in the street last June, at the Soho vigil for the victims of the Orlando massacre, she stood head and bosom above the crowds, giving us an impassioned interview live on Facebook while standing in the gutter.

At the time, BuzzFeed News was entirely unaware that the righteous diva of Old Compton Street was the same person who crops up on Twitter, besuited and bespectacled, as the earnest adviser of leading Scottish politicians.

This is not exactly a well-beaten career path.

There have been drag queens in other countries loosely involved in party politics. Last month, Germany’s Olivia Jones (real name Oliver Knobel) revealed her ambition to one day be president at a Green Party candidate selection vote. And politicians have on occasion donned drag: the mayor of Reykjavik, Jón Gnarr, for example, at the city’s Pride parade in 2010.

But no one else is known to be employed simultaneously in both worlds, switching between the two like Superman in a phone box.

But then few other parties have changed so dramatically regarding LGBT rights as the SNP. The party that once championed anti-gay campaigner and businessman Brian Souter now has the highest proportion of LGBT parliamentarians in the world. And Scotland, once neck-deep in whisky and machismo, is now a leader, socially and politically, in LGBT rights.

Straddling both worlds, Nathan Sparling is its most in-your-face symbol.

The name Nancy Clench, he explains, is a play on Judi Dench, but as the evening moves from his bedroom to the bar – a chance for BuzzFeed News to regard the butterfly leaving the chrysalis – what begins to emerge is that he is not playing a part at all.

The first clue to this comes in a look he gives himself while applying makeup in the mirror – one of both cheekiness and recognition: a light switching on. It is the amused look of someone catching their own reflection while being buggered at an orgy. It says, “Hello Nancy, my dear, shall we cause some unholy mischief?”

The connection between these two characters would be altogether simpler were it not for what surfaced a few days earlier in his office in Westminster, when he had invited BuzzFeed News to meet him in his political guise.

The divide in Sparling’s life, it transpires, is not between politics and drag, Nathan and Nancy. It lies somewhere else entirely.

Dressed in a grey suit and open shirt, Sparling accosts BuzzFeed News at the security check in Portcullis House, the 1990s office building for MPs across the road from the Palace of Westminster.

He breaks immediately into conversation before leading the way to the drab interconnecting rooms he shares with two SNP MPs: Eilidh Whiteford, for whom he works directly, and Mhairi Black, the wildly popular rising star and the youngest member in the Commons, whom he also assists.

Big Ben looms through a small window high up in the office.

Sparling’s work here, he explains, spans research, communications, and strategy with particular emphasis on social justice, on which Whiteford is the party’s group leader.

Politics came before drag, he says, sitting at one of the desks. “It was my 13th birthday and we got a leaflet through the door about a mobile phone mast that was going to be erected opposite our house.” He joined the local campaign against it, organised a petition, and – extraordinarily – went to meet his local MSP, Tricia Marwick. The phone company backed down. “It’s what got me into politics.”

Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

From there, growing up in Glenrothes, 30 miles to the north of Edinburgh, Sparling immersed himself in local recycling campaigns and mock elections at school, where he stood as the SNP candidate. He came out to his parents at 14, but kept quiet at school.

“There was one openly gay person who was heavily bullied, and I didn’t want to be bullied,” he says. This fear, born of witnessing how others reacted to someone like him, cast a long shadow. “I’m quite a socially anxious person and that was probably why,” he says. Even now, he adds, “I won’t walk into a bar I’ve never been in before. And I will very rarely talk to people I don’t know.”

For someone who works in the most public of careers to suffer with such anxiety might seem improbable, but it was the very thing that propelled him into these worlds.

“They provide a way for me not to be socially anxious,” he says. “Being in this place [Westminster] I put on quite a confident front. And with drag, you’re putting on a mask.”

At 17, he escaped to university in Dundee, where he ventured into student politics and came out to friends for the first time. But after that first year away, an event would take place that would both compound his anxiety and divide his life in two – the divide that would spawn Nancy Clench.

Sparling stayed on alone in the halls of residence that summer and early one evening there was a knock at the door.

Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

A group of people awaited him as he opened the door. They were carrying a dog chain and would soon pick up a set of golf clubs. Three men and one woman entered the flat as two more stayed outside on the lookout.

“First off they wanted a mobile phone, and I’d just bought a new mobile so I thought I was being smart by giving them my old one,” he says. “And then somebody rang me. That infuriated them.”

One of them raised the dog chain. “Smacked it over my head and body,” he says. “I was severely battered.” He starts to breathe short, shallow breaths. “I was conscious for the whole thing.”

To try to attract attention from passers-by, Sparling grabbed one of the golf clubs and threw it through an open window. “That infuriated them even more,” he says. “I was pinned to the bed and had a golf club cracked over my leg.”

After this he heard one of them shouting to one of the others: “Go and find a knife.” What was he thinking at the time?

“That I was going to die,” he says.

They didn’t find a knife, and instead gathered up his belongings, including large amounts of electronic equipment, and left. Afterwards, he says, “I looked like the elephant man – a lot of cuts and swelling.” The golf club caused nerve damage to his leg, making walking agony.

The burglars were caught – “they walked into Cash Converters with a blood-covered laptop” – and all six were given custodial sentences. But the damage to Sparling remained. Nightmares and flashbacks accompanied the scars that formed on his face and hand.

He dropped out of the University of Dundee and returned to his childhood home. “To this day,” he says, he experiences “not feeling comfortable being in a flat on my own. Hearing noises can make me anxious. It’s what contributes to that social anxiety.”

Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

Shortly after the break-in, his best friend died from sudden adult death syndrome. Sparling, in reaction to everything, began experiencing wild mood swings: “euphoric states and then the crashing, crashing lows”. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (something, he says, from which he is now recovered).

After a year recuperating, Sparling enrolled at Edinburgh Napier University and it was here that Nancy Clench was born. While reconnecting with student politics he had also started DJ'ing in an Edinburgh gay pub, where a drag competition was being organised. But only three or four people applied. “So they begged all of the staff to take part.” Sparling gave in.

“I forced myself into a size 12 sequinned dress with a cardigan covering the fact the zip wouldn’t go up in the back and a short Liza Minnelli wig, and my partner at the time wrote a Lady Gaga parody that I performed on stage.”

He came second and had to return for the final. “And came last.” But Sparling saw an opportunity. “I was DJ'ing anyway at the pub and they were going to pay me more to DJ in drag, so I did that.” Nancy Clench was born. It wasn’t only the money that appealed.

“It was the mask,” he says. “I would speak to everyone in the bar.”

Nancy Clench looked “atrocious” at the time, he says: “Some sort of Dutch woman’s dress my friend had given me and a wig that cost £10 from a joke shop.” It didn’t matter. He started developing his routine before branching out on to the stand-up comedy circuit. His parents and grandparents would attend. “They loved it!” he says.

After university, having worked in policy for HIV Scotland, he contacted some of the politicians he had liaised with and asked for a job. Soon he was assisting the gay SNP MSP Kevin Stewart and Dennis Robertson, the first blind MSP.

At first, Sparling told no one about Nancy. “I didn’t know how they would take that.” But he grew close to Robertson, helping the politician attend events, becoming his right-hand man. In return, Robertson helped bring his employee’s identities together.

“It was him that started telling people [about Nancy],” says Sparling. “A lot of people found it fascinating that of an evening I go out and put on a dress, so they would ask a lot of questions: the hows and whys and whats.” Robertson, meanwhile, was rather more playful.

“He always used to joke about the fact that he wouldn’t know if I’d gone into work in drag or not. You’d get a comment in the morning like, ‘What are you wearing today, Nancy?’”

Far from judging Sparling for being a drag queen, other SNP politicians embraced it, and began inviting Nancy Clench to host the karaoke at the party conference, which she still does every year. This is despite the nature of some of the material.

Nathan Sparling/Nancy Clench with Angus Robertson MP

Nathan Sparling

“I think there’s a concern sometimes that certain media outlets might run something as a story that I’ve said [as Nancy],” he says. “So I do sort of watch what I say in terms of, ‘Would I be happy reading it in the Daily Mail?’” He pauses for a second. “But fundamentally I still tell jokes about fisting.”

Delegates should perhaps be grateful it stops with fisting. In one video online, from a stand-up gig, Nancy Clench seeks to enlighten the audience about the terminology for when a straight man uses a foot for penetration, “wading in the sea”, compared with when a gay man does: “wading in the mud”.

The Scottish National Party has certainly changed.

The change in Scotland, meanwhile, can be measured in one particularly surprising way.

“As a drag queen I never experience homophobia walking through the streets of Glasgow, and I do in London,” he says. “In London I’ve had people directly challenge me: ‘You big poof, that’s disgusting’ on the tube and walking around. I’ve also had lads thinking they’re funny by wolf-whistling.”

Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

He tends to respond to the culprit with, “‘You’d never get a chance,’ which generally has their friends erupting in laughter – they’ve been turned down by a man.”

Challenging such abuse is a conscious decision. “It goes back to being at school, because I didn’t want to be challenged about being gay and I didn’t deflect the homophobia that someone was getting. There’s guilt there.”

Soon after the Scottish independence referendum in 2014, Sparling left Scotland for London, initially to pursue his drag career, but in the 2015 general election the SNP went from six MPs to 56 (seven of whom are lesbian or gay) and Sparling was soon recruited to work for Eilidh Whiteford and Mhairi Black.

He has since also worked as campaign director for Angus Robertson, the party’s deputy leader and a long-standing supporter of LGBT rights. “I think that goes to show how much of an accepting party we are,” he says. “I always thought there’d come a period where I would be blocked from doing something I wanted to do.”

Sparling is interested in becoming an MP or MSP, he says, but not until he is at least 40. Would he like to be first minister?

“I think no one could deny having dreamt about having been first minister,” he replies carefully. But Nancy Clench won’t be going anywhere soon. “I enjoy it too much to consider giving it up at the moment but there will come a time where she will disappear.”


A few days later, however, there are no signs of even a vaguely imminent departure for his alter ego as he stands in his room, jigging about to the music, trousers down, tights on, and stuffing rolled-up towels into his bra. We jump in a cab headed for Soho.

As we arrive, the customers outside the Admiral Duncan greet him like a beloved star. “Nancy! Nancy!” one cries.

Inside it is packed, despite it being a Monday night – Ms Clench, it seems, is the draw. Tonight she adorns an endless tweed frock with frilly trim, providing that ever-welcome bridge between the camp and the deranged. She teams this with trainers.

Spotting them, another regular asks, “How’s the feet?”

The choice of shoe, it emerges, is not so much a defiance of the sartorial demands made by society’s binary construction of gender, but rather because Sparling has gout.

Nancy Clench bursts on to the stage at the back of the pub, encircled by punters knocking back the spirits on offer, many of whom seem well versed in the proceedings.

Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

“Welcome to the Admiral Duncan!” she booms. “It’s a Monday night! If anyone is kind enough to buy me seven tequilas I’ll down the lot during the instrumental of ‘And I’m Telling You’!”

She begins instead to sing Bonnie Tyler’s “I Need a Hero” very loudly and dramatically, ignoring the lyrics on the karaoke machine in favour of her own: “Late at night I toss myself off and I dream of what I need.”

The first customer to perform is a 73–year-old man inexplicably wearing a gold lamé suit, white winkle-pickers, and the kind of wig even Liberace might deem a giveaway. Nancy introduces him as “available for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and soon his own funeral”.

The second customer up, who is white and British, attempts “Kingston Town”, prompting Nancy to interrupt, mid-song, “I think this is cultural appropriation.”

When the next singer goes alarmingly awry, such that it could be any song, sung in any key except that of the backing track, our host shrieks at those applauding: “That was fucking bad. Don’t encourage him.”

A man at the front reaches out to grab Nancy’s unmentionables. “I’ve told you a million times on Grindr: Nooo,” she retorts. Two men are snogging at the bar. Another man is bellowing “Oi, oi!” like a lad on the lash in Magaluf.

Meanwhile, a heterosexual Canadian, who we learn through Nancy’s interrogation has been brought here by his girlfriend, is leaning against a wall with a look of deathly confusion. This is not helped during the next song as a punter’s rendition of “Uptown Funk” is interrupted by Nancy performing the entire dance routine to the “Macarena”.

A muscular, tattooed man near the front is shouting “Rohypnol” at her for reasons best known to his subconscious and, hopefully one day, the police.

The fun continues. A bald man in a suit that presumably once fitted begins to wail his way through “Sweet Caroline” before telling the crowd, “I want audience participation.” Which he unfortunately receives.

As BuzzFeed News says goodbye to Nancy Clench, she gives a tight hug from the stage while a man named Gareth begins singing “That’s Life”. He is surprisingly good; people are joining in, even hugging and swaying.

At the exit, the lyrics are still ringing out, “I’ve been up and down and over and out...Each time I find myself flat on my face I pick myself up and get back in the race” and for a moment it is as if anyone could be singing them – the customer, the community, Nancy Clench, or most of all, Nathan Sparling.

People Are Criticizing Author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Comments About Trans Women

$
0
0

Author and feminist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie faced criticism over the weekend for comments she made about trans women during an interview with British news station Channel 4.

Pius Utomi Ekpei / AFP / Getty Images

During the interview, the award-winning Nigerian writer was asked, “Does it matter how you’ve arrived at being a woman? I mean, for example, if you’re a trans woman who grew up identifying as a man, who grew up enjoying the privileges of being a man, does that take away from becoming a woman? Are you any less of a real woman?”

This was Adichie’s response:

So when people talk about, you know, “Are trans women women?” my feeling is trans women are trans women.


I think the whole problem of gender in the world is about our experience. It’s not about how we wear our hair, or whether we have a vagina or a penis, it’s about the way the world treats us.

And I think if you’ve lived in the world as a man with the privileges the world accords to men, and then sort of changed, switched gender, it’s difficult for me to accept that then we can equate your experience with the experience of a woman who has lived from the beginning in the world as a woman, and who has not been accorded those privileges that men are.

And so I think there has to be — and this is not, of course, to say, I’m saying this with a certainty that transgender should be allowed to be. But I don’t think it’s a good thing to conflate everything into one. I don’t think it’s a good thing to talk about women’s issues being exactly the same as the issues of trans women, because I don’t think that’s true.

View Video ›

Facebook: video.php

Lots of people on Twitter were upset by Adichie’s comments.

Instead, Cox argued that the experience of gender is different across the spectrum and that "there's no universal experience of gender, of womanhood."

"So though I was assigned male at birth I would contend that I did not enjoy male privilege prior to my transition," she said, seemingly addressing Adichie's comments directly. "The irony of my life is prior to transition I was called a girl and after I am often called a man."

Cox urged people to instead embrace different stories and experiences.

Adichie responded to the criticism early Saturday morning, and reiterated that she did not mean to imply that trans women were not included in feminism — a violence, she wrote, that would be "pure misogyny."

View Video ›

Facebook: chimamandaadichie

But a few hours later, activist Aaryn Lang started the hashtag #MalePrivilegeDiaries on Twitter to encourage trans women to mock the ways they have experienced gendered "privilege."

"The moment Chimamanda begins talking about the privileges trans women are afforded before we 'sort of changed, switch genders' is what sparked me to create the hashtag," Lang told BuzzFeed News.

"My original thoughts were that I actually wish I had the experience of male privilege to protect me in my every day life," she added.

Trans activist Raquel Willis wrote a 22-tweet-long thread explaining her problems with Adichie’s argument.

“Chimamanda being asked about trans women is like Lena Dunham being asked about black women. It doesn’t work. We can speak for ourselves,” she began.

Willis said that cisgender (or cis) women — that is, a woman whose gender identity corresponds to the sex they were assigned at birth — feel threatened by trans women in a similar way that white women have historically felt threatened by black women.

She also argued that while “folks raised as girls are plagued with oppression in a different way than people not raised as girls,” that “cis girls and women — in general — experience the privilege of being seen, accepted, and respected in their gender from birth.”

Willis wrote it was “nonsensical and *privileged* to require trans women to experience certain instances of oppression to prove their womanhood.”

Willis said she was not interested in “disposing of Chimamanda,” but instead argued that trans women and cis women need more space to speak to each other.

BuzzFeed News has reached out to Adichie for comment.


These Groups Want Unnecessary Surgery On Intersex Infants To Be Made A Crime

$
0
0

Intersex groups in Australia and New Zealand have called for the immediate criminalisation of deferrable surgeries on intersex infants, in a landmark statement released on Friday.

Intersex groups in Australia and New Zealand have called for the immediate criminalisation of deferrable surgeries on intersex infants, in a landmark statement released on Friday.

Phoebe Hart

Intersex is an umbrella term for people born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn't appear to fit the general definitions of male and female. This can include atypical genitals, gonads or chromosomes.

Co-executive director of Organisation Intersex International Australia, Morgan Carpenter, told BuzzFeed News the statement was a "huge" and "very significant" development for the community.

"It's the first time that anything like this has happened, where organisations have gotten together and reached a common platform in Australia and New Zealand," he said. "This will be guiding our work for the next few years."

The statement sets out a number of priorities and calls to action for the intersex community in the areas of human rights and legal reform; health and wellbeing; peer support; allies; and education, awareness and employment.

A significant part of the statement is the call to criminalise deferrable medical interventions performed on infants and children that alter sex characteristics.

This can include surgery to make genitalia look less ambiguous – for instance, a clitoridectomy – or hormone treatment to prompt the development of secondary sex characteristics such as breasts or an Adam's apple.

A 2016 survey of 272 intersex Australians found a majority of intersex people who had undergone medical treatment received no information on the option of declining and deferring treatment, while one fifth said they were given “no information at all”.

The statement calls for human rights based oversight mechanisms before such decisions are made.

"It's not just us saying this, but the UN and many other institutions describe these interventions as harmful practices, forms of torture, ill-treatment and abuse," Carpenter said.

"We hope we can use the statement to encourage the Australian government to respond properly to these forms of abuse."

The comprehensive statement also calls for an end to sex/gender classification on birth certificates and asks for advisory bodies to develop appropriate, human rights based standards of care for intersex people.

Another section recognises the importance of peer support in the intersex community.

"No intersex person or parent of an intersex child should feel they are alone, irrespective of their bodily variation or the language they use," it reads.

Carpenter said there was significant stigma and lack of understanding around people who are intersex.

"Research published last year showed 18% of people with intersex variations don't finish school," he said.

"That can be down to bullying – we're too tall, too short, we're developing too slowly, we're developing in ways that don't reach society's expectations. This is one way stigma is manifest, with life-long effects."

Colton Haynes Is Officially Engaged

$
0
0

Congrats!

Fact: Colton Haynes is v v hot.

Fact: Colton Haynes is v v hot.

You've probably seen him on Teen Wolf or Arrow.

Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

Back in February, Colton posted several adorable photos of his boyfriend, florist Jeff Leatham.

"The most special day of my life. Thank you @jeffleatham. We were actually in the clouds...speechless. Happy Valentine's Day to all of you. #LoveWins ❤️❤️❤️ Never be afraid to love harder."

Instagram: @coltonlhaynes

"It's not every day that someone comes into your life & makes you want to be a better man. I feel so blessed to be by your side @jeffleatham ❤️❤️❤️#WhatMoviesAreMadeOf"

instagram.com

And now the couple have confirmed that they're E-N-G-A-G-E-D!

Colton wrote: "I SAID YES!!! 💍💥❤️ "

Instagram: @coltonlhaynes


View Entire List ›

Democrats Will Reintroduce A Major LGBT Bill As A Wedge Issue In Congress

$
0
0

Sen. Jeff Merkley and supporters of the Equality Act in 2015.

Brendan Smialowski / AFP / Getty Images

Democrats in Congress plan to reintroduce legislation this month that would ban LGBT discrimination nationwide, despite facing a conservative majority that's been generally hostile toward the issue.

While the bill has little shot of passage, progressives hope inaction by Republicans can illustrate a chasm between the major political parties as they approach the 2018 midterm election.

"It's important for Americans to know whether members of Congress support full equality for our community or whether they support continued discrimination against LGBT Americans," Rhode Island's David Cicilline, a Democrat who will sponsor the bill in the House, told BuzzFeed News.

A companion bill will be reintroduced in the Senate by Oregon's Jeff Merkley, a Democrat, who said colleagues opposed to the bill "should have to stand up and explain why.”

Dozens of Democrats sponsored similar legislation in 2015, with a small harmony of support across the aisle, marking the most sweeping effort to date to provide LGBT civil rights. But Republican leaders never gave it a committee hearing. Rep. Cicilline argued that opponents should pay a political price if they continue to blockade the bill, saying, "If Republicans in Washington want to keep standing in the doorway of opportunity, they'll have to answer to their constituents in just two short years."

The Equality Act, as it's known, would amend existing civil rights laws to add protections on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in workplaces, housing, and public spaces.

It would also clarify that transgender students can use single-sex facilities in schools in accordance with their gender identity, possibly settling a dispute tangled in courts.

Rep. David Cicilline

Jim Watson / AFP / Getty Images

President Donald Trump has helped shift his party toward more LGBT-friendly language, offering pledges of general support — but his cabinet brings a trove of anti-LGBT views. The administration recently withdrew protections for transgender students and Trump himself has endorsed states creating their own policies that allow discrimination.

Cicilline argued in a dear-colleague letter seeking House co-sponsors this week that a state-to-state patchwork of LGBT rights underscores the need for a consistently applied federal law. Despite winning marriage equality at the Supreme Court, for example, gay people can still be fired in the dozens of states where LGBT discrimination remains legal.

"We need a uniform federal standard that protects all LGBT Americans from discrimination," the letter says.

Polls have show most Americans believe LGBT people should be protected from discrimination.

“Every member of Congress should have to be counted and show exactly where they stand: either for or against full equality for all Americans," Sen. Merkley told BuzzFeed News in a statement. "In 2017, any elected leader who wants to use their position to maintain outdated and discriminatory policies should have to stand up and explain why.”

Several congressional Republicans have cited concerns from religious conservatives who claim their faith is at odds with accommodating LGBT people, particularly with selling merchandise for same-sex weddings.

The Equality Act would not add new religious exemptions; rather, it would let stand the religious protections codified in existing civil rights laws. But at least one Republican lawmaker and some LGBT conservatives have argued that the only way to advance LGBT nondiscrimination legislation in Congress with the current Republican majority is by adding new provisions for people with religious objections.

This Actress Gave A Speech Reminding Everyone Why Queer Representation Matters

$
0
0

“For my community.”

This is Canadian actress Natasha Negovanlis.

This is Canadian actress Natasha Negovanlis.

Peter Power / THE CANADIAN PRESS

While she may be unknown to you, she's very much known to the young, queer fans of a titular role as a broody lesbian vampire in the web series Carmilla.

While she may be unknown to you, she's very much known to the young, queer fans of a titular role as a broody lesbian vampire in the web series Carmilla.

Smokebomb Entertainment

And as Cassie in the queer, Canadian indie film Almost Adults.

And as Cassie in the queer, Canadian indie film Almost Adults.

Almost Adults / Via rebloggy.com

It's because of Negovanlis fans that she took home the Fan's Choice Award at the 2017 Canadian Screen Awards on Sunday.

It's because of Negovanlis fans that she took home the Fan's Choice Award at the 2017 Canadian Screen Awards on Sunday.

Those fans were the first people she thanked in her acceptance speech. But she also gave a shoutout to queer representation.

CBC / Via youtu.be


View Entire List ›

People Are Heartbroken Over This Mother Rejecting Her Gay Son On His Wedding Day

$
0
0

“That part of your life is just not compatible with ours.”

Instead, Chris' mum Yvonne sent him a video explaining why she rejected the wedding invitation.

Instead, Chris' mum Yvonne sent him a video explaining why she rejected the wedding invitation.

Her entire message said:

"Hi Chris, it's just Mum talking to you today because Dad actually found this all a little too overwhelming. Just as you are hurting, so are we. I'm really sorry if you thought you weren’t loved or that we weren’t proud of you when you were a young boy. I thought I knew you, I felt very close to you at that time, and I loved you, and I loved you very dearly... and I still do Chris. It wasn’t until you were about 20-21 that we came to understand that you were starting to live a homosexual life. We tried to stay in your life as much as we could, considering our strong views on the subject.

I know a lot of people today think they’re outdated and old fashioned, but they’re something we value and hold dearly. We're pretty strong on how we feel about the situation and we also know what you want us to be able to give you - which is acceptance of your personal life choices - and Chris, we can’t. But in saying that, we do want to know how well you’re doing, and that you’re well, and that you’re ok. But for now, Chris you really are about to do something that we find really hard to accept, which is to have a wedding ceremony. I hold marriage very sacred so I can’t give you that acceptance or be part of that part of your life. That part of your life is just not compatible with ours but your life is yours to live as you see fit.

We want you to know that we do love you, and we want you to keep well. And… yeah, that’s really all I’ve got to say at this stage. I love you and keep well. Bye."

Channel 7

Channel 7


View Entire List ›

The Texas Senate Just Advanced A Bill To Limit Transgender People’s Access To Bathrooms

$
0
0

AP / Eric Gay

The Texas state senate took a key vote on Tuesday to advance a bill that would restrict access to restrooms, part of a Republican-led effort to enact the country’s most sweeping rules to block transgender people from facilities that match their gender identity.

In a 21 to 10 vote, the full Senate teed up the measure for a final — essentially pro forma — vote on Wednesday that would send it to the state house of representatives.

Senate Bill 6 is the latest lightning rod in a national conflict over gender norms, the legal rights of transgender people, and the swift backlash states can face when they target LGBT rights.

The measure in Texas is broader than a law passed last year in North Carolina, which was the subject of lawsuits and state boycotts. While the North Carolina law applied to facilities run by the state government — and was partially blocked by a court — the measure in Texas would also encompass bathrooms run by local governments and public schools. The Texas bill, in addition, would stymie some local protections for transgender people.

Texas State Senate

Battle lines on the Senate floor Tuesday were largely partisan, with Republicans raising a specter of transgender rights giving rise to violence.

Sen. Bob Hall, of Dallas, offered a well-worn argument that failing to block transgender people from certain restrooms that match their gender identity would let men who are not transgender prey inside women's restrooms.

“We will be creating crime-free zones for them to conduct their perversion,” the Republican claimed, adding that inaction would let men “do bad things and get away with it.”

But Sen. Chuy Hinojosa of Corpus Christi, a Democrat, shot back that conduct is and would remain illegal, noting that laws against public lewdness and assault would continue to ban nefarious activities in bathrooms.

Another Democrat, Sen. Sylvia Garcia, further worried that the stigma of sending transgender students to restrooms that conflict with their gender identity could exacerbate their higher suicide rate.

Sponsored by Republican Sen. Lois Kolkhorst, Senate Bill 6 would mandate that single-sex facilities only be used by those with with a corresponding sex marker on their birth certificate. It would apply in facilities run by the state and its local government subdivisions.

When she announced the bill in January, Kolkhorst described how the rules would apply in public schools. “Are we going to have bathroom police?” she said to a question about how the rules could be enforced. “No.” Violations could be reported to local authorities, she said, and local school boards that fail to comply would face a civil penalty.

Local jurisdictions would also be blocked from enacting or enforcing their own nondiscrimination rules that let people use public facilities in accordance with their gender identity. That rule would apparently affect several Texas cities, including Austin and Dallas, which have LGBT nondiscrimination ordinances on the books.

A Senate report last week said the bill may have economic repercussions, noting, "According to the City of Houston, the bill would have a significant impact if corporations and special events choose not to pursue certain business in the state; the city anticipates the impact could be in the millions of dollars."

Republicans, however, shot down amendments that would gauge financial costs of the bill.

“It is nothing more than a discriminatory bill that would negatively impact the economy," Democratic Sen. Borris Miles of Houston said on the Senate floor. He argued Texas risks the same sort of corporate, sporting event, and travel boycotts that have dogged North Carolina.

Assuming the measure advances out of the Texas Senate on a final vote, it will go to the state House, where it may face stiffer opposition. House Speaker Joe Straus told reporters last week, “I’m not a fan of the bill.”

Grindr's New Emoji Keyboard May Have Referenced Crystal Meth And People Are Confused

$
0
0

The “T” emoji appears to have been removed from the app as of Tuesday afternoon.

Grindr released its very own emoji keyboard this week, allowing users with the latest update of the hook-up app to message, flirt, and express their sexual preferences with the help of an array of cartoon images.

Grindr released its very own emoji keyboard this week, allowing users with the latest update of the hook-up app to message, flirt, and express their sexual preferences with the help of an array of cartoon images.

Twitter: @ortuist

The "gaymoji" set ranges from alcoholic drinks to sexual positions — and yes, there are plenty of eggplants.

The "gaymoji" set ranges from alcoholic drinks to sexual positions — and yes, there are plenty of eggplants.

“Almost 20 percent of all Grindr messages already use emoji," Landis Smithers, Grindr's creative director, told The New York Times of the new release. “There’s this shift going on culturally and we need to follow the users where they’re taking us.”

Twitter: @winedrunkgay

Users quickly jumped on social media to share their excitement, or disapproval, concerning the new feature.

Users quickly jumped on social media to share their excitement, or disapproval, concerning the new feature.

Twitter: @diezesq

Twitter: @jameshinton


View Entire List ›


My Intersex Body, My Breasts, And Me

$
0
0

Anna Salmi for BuzzFeed News

When I was a little girl, one of my older sisters got her period. Nana was 11, about a year older than me. When Nana and our other sister, Rosa, locked themselves in the bathroom, I banged on the door demanding to know what was happening. Rosa opened the door and proudly announced, “Nana is a woman now.” She showed me some underwear and the bathroom was smelly. I thought the whole situation was gross and I walked away, shaking my head, saying to myself, That is definitely not happening to me. And it never did.

It wasn’t until junior year in high school that it became clear that the biological markers of female development had completely eluded me. None of my classmates seemed to notice or care whether I had breasts or not. To them, I was a goofy, outspoken, basketball-loving extrovert. But to my family, I was a loner, a "Maria Macho" with an intense love of The Simpsons and sports.

As a teenager, my gender presentation had very little to do with my intersex body — it was tied more to my general disposition, as well as my relationship with my family and their expectations of me. Sometimes (although rarely) I happily wore the frilly dress and shiny shoes and straightened my hair. Femininity and its trappings were always just an option for me, something I’d adhere to only when I felt like it. Overall, in their own way, my family accepted my individuality — everyone in my family is a character in their own right. But one particular trait was the pinnacle of femininity and therefore non-negotiable: breasts.

Growing up on Long Island it was my two older sisters, one younger sister, and two younger brothers. I am the third of the six children. Our mother worked long hours and our father was in and out of our lives. Living paycheck to paycheck meant that unless it was an emergency, my mother was not taking time off to make doctor’s visits. By my junior year in high school, my eldest sister Rosa had joined the Navy and was living in Japan. She was like a second mother to my four other siblings and me — and she was the one who bought me my first falsies.

Growing up, it seemed the size of their breasts was all the women in my family could talk about. Their obsession made me want breasts the way other kids wanted the latest car or purse.

One day Rosa called from the base and we had a conversation about my body. I was 17 years old and I had yet to develop breasts or get a menstruation cycle. Rosa asked to speak to mom. "Mami, usted tiene que llevar a Aris al doctor. This is not ok," she sternly told her. A couple of months later, my mom and I went to the gynecologist. The doctor concluded that my delayed puberty might be hereditary — after all, my mother didn’t get her period until she was 18. She advised us to wait another year.

My mother’s menstruation was a major turning point in her life. My parents and I are from a small village in the Dominican Republic: sporadic electricity, rolling green hills, dry valleys, dirt roads, and a population of a couple hundred people. Mom and Dad met as young teenagers collecting water from a well. Although they wanted to run away as soon as possible (aka get married), they waited until my mother became a woman (aka began a menstruation cycle). Right after my mother turned 18 she got her period, and although there were still some objections from family members, she and Dad finally eloped.

Although menstruation is clearly essential for procreation, large breasts are not — and yet they were still a feminine ideal in my family. Growing up, it seemed the size of their breasts was all the women in my family could talk about. Their obsession made me want breasts the way other kids would want the latest car or purse.

But it quickly became apparent to me that this obsession with breasts went beyond my Dominican-American family. I remember watching Married With Children and learning all of the different American euphemisms for breasts: boobs, tits, titties, tatas, fun bags, bazookas, torpedoes, guzongas… It seemed universal: We are all obsessed with breasts, I thought to myself. So I considered my obsession completely normal.

Rosa holding Ivan, and Arisleyda (right).

Courtesy Arisleyda Dilone

After we waited another year to see if I’d start menstruating, still nothing happened, so we had a follow-up visit with the gynecologist. This time the doctor said something was wrong with my ovaries. She recommended an endocrinologist at Stony Brook University.

As a child, doctor’s appointments meant alone time with my mother. At this particular point she was the sole caretaker of six children, working 16-hour days with a mortgage to pay and barely getting by. So during this appointment I was happy to be basking in my mother’s attention.

My mom, a very proud person, has always been good at hiding shit from everyone. Sitting in the backseat, staring out of the window, our moods could not be more different. I could sense my mother’s suppressed worry and fear more than usual, while I was giddy with excitement. It felt like there was something big going on, bigger than the mundane existence of everyday high school life.

I was eager to finally become a "woman" and be done with all this.

Although nothing had been confirmed that day, the mere thought of more doctor visits, more attention, more discovering, was confirmation enough that I was different. I was different from my three sisters. I was different from all the women in my family. I was special.

In 2000, I began to see an endocrinologist in Long Island. After a couple of visits, a chromosome analysis revealed that I was born with male chromosomes: 46,XY gonadal dysgenesis was the exact diagnosis. After many more visits it became clear that doctors didn’t know what was going on inside of me. Test after test, the inner workings of my body eluded them. When the endocrinologist asked if I wanted to be put on female hormones that would spur menstruation as well as breast growth, I said yes — let’s get this show on the road. I was eager to finally become a "woman" and be done with all this.

During junior year of high school, after I started taking hormones, I would constantly go to the bathroom to see if I was bleeding. But more than anything, I wanted my boobies. I felt soreness around my nipples, but no breast growth.

After a year on estrogen and progestin, my body was not responding as expected. Other than some minor things, like the production of more vaginal fluids, my body was the same. No period. No breasts.

While my body hadn’t drastically changed, my emotional state had. For the first time, I experienced a deep, confusing sadness. But clearly there were several contributing factors beyond the hormone replacement therapy: It was senior year of high school; I had received almost all rejection letters from colleges; my basketball career, to which I had dedicated my entire youth, was ending; and I was worried I had no way to pay for college. Through all of this I felt very alone. My body took a backseat — it was a medical matter beyond my control. My body belonged to the experts, and with the right medicine, everything would sort itself out later. Give me a pill and let’s move on. My concern was getting a higher education.

Once admitted into college, I did whatever it took to stay there. I took out student loans and picked up jobs at school. Then, second semester of freshman year, I met Tommy.

Tommy and I were together for all four years of college; our relationship became serious quickly. It became so serious, in fact, that during my second year he helped me take out a student loan. His credit was better than mine.

I told Tommy I couldn’t have kids and that I had never menstruated. After all, we were in college, and we weren’t planning to get married anytime soon. At that point, I had always openly talked about my body with most people because it didn’t take away from my desirability.

Tommy was into psychology so we would spend long hours in his dorm room, talking about my body and my chromosomal makeup and the fact that I never got a period. In one our many conversations, Tommy was the first person to tell me aloud, “You are a hermaphrodite.” My immediate response was a hesitant, combative no...but maybe?

We would also have long talks about where my femininity resided. He thought my face was very feminine, the way I moved, my gestures, my hands, my thighs... none of our conversations seemed to hinge on the size of my breasts. This was comforting. Nonetheless, for many months into our relationship I hid the fact that I hadn’t developed them.

In college, I explored my feminine identity away from the strict constructs of my family and their impositions. I would go to the extremes: dressing in hyperfeminine colors and styles. Pin-straight hair with all pink outfits. At one point I owned a pair of pink Timbs. Yet, naked and alone, I still longed for the breasts I was missing.

Tommy and I were both virgins, so sex was not easy for either one of us and it didn’t happen for a while. Several months into our relationship, I still wouldn’t take my shirt off or let him touch my chest. Even though he knew my body was intersex, he was under the impression that I had developed breasts. I hadn’t told him otherwise. One night, he asked me what was up with my resistance and I refused to tell him. We stayed up until 5 in the morning, arguing back and forth about trust, power, defense mechanisms, and my body. He began a guessing game: Were you in a fire and horribly scarred? Is one smaller than other? Did you have breast cancer?

Finally I broke down and scribbled "I never grew breasts" on a little piece of paper. I folded it up and handed it to him, then turned my back and I began to cry. The whole thing seemed so silly just seconds after. The following weekend I took my shirt off for the first time. And sex seemed so much easier. After a couple of months, he told me my body was affecting his own clarity about his sexuality.

“What does it say about me that I am attracted to your boyish frame?” Tommy asked me.

He encouraged me to get breast implants.

I wanted to be free. Topless.

By junior year of college, the endocrinologist also suggested that I get implants because he didn’t think hormones would help me grow breasts. I was conflicted. What I really wanted were natural breasts produced by my body. After all, wouldn’t implants be just as false as the bra fillers I had been relying on for the past four years? I wanted to be free. Topless. (Sometimes when I was a kid, I would walk around without a shirt on. I figured I had no breasts, so what was the big deal? Well, that didn’t fly with a lot of the people in my family.)

Would I feel comfortable being topless with implants? Wouldn’t this be just another way I wouldn’t feel like myself?

After some back and forth, I decided to go ahead with the procedure. My mother’s insurance covered all the costs. I chose a plastic surgeon in my hometown. She had great reviews and her office was always packed with upper-middle-class women getting all sorts of work done. The surgeon recommended I get silicone. “They will look more natural and be nicer to the touch,” she told me. “A beautiful tear drop shape.”

I wouldn’t get them too big but just right for my body, like a medium B-cup, although I did consider a C-cup because it seemed like a coveted size among my sisters and aunts. "Tú 'ta segura que tú no quieres un poco más grande?" they would say, trying to persuade me to go a bit bigger.

The surgery took place in May 2004. When I awoke from the operation, my chest was swollen and sore but my excitement overshadowed any pain. I was overjoyed to finally have what I had desired for so long, even if they weren’t natural. I turned 21 that summer. I spent it with Tommy, visiting my family in Dominican Republic. I was elated. I liked showing off my new body, stepping into a new level of social exhibitionism.

But at the same time, even though I loved my new breasts, I quickly realized that I didn’t care for the attention I was getting. That vacation was not as enjoyable as I thought it would be. Clearly, as a Maria Macho, my relationship to Dominican gender culture has been fraught with conflict. Before my surgery, men and I had entered some pact that we would let one another be. But that summer I felt like I was playing along with gender expectations. I would dress with my titties out. I enjoyed escote. Hello there, hi. This is my cleavage. Nice to meet you.

Obviously, my boyfriend and I fought the entire trip. All I cared about was the fact that my body finally looked the way my family envisioned it for me — strangely it was also the way I’d envisioned it, too. But after the swelling went down, so did my ego.

In the Dominican Republic after surgery.

Courtesy Arisleyda Dilone

It has now been 13 years, and occasionally my implants cause me pain. One is smaller than the other, and it wasn’t like that before. I fear the silicone is leaking in my body. I’m now considering whether or not I should have them taken out.

I am the first in my family to get breast augmentation, and it seems I set a trend. Many women in my family have undergone this surgery since mine. No one else in my family is intersex. I may have given the women in my family the unspoken permission to become idealized versions of high-femme women. This decision is about what will make me most comfortable in my body, but if I take out my implants, I wonder if I may be setting an example for the next generation of girls in my family that breasts do not define our femininity.

If I take out my implants, I wonder if I may set an example for the next generation of girls in my family that breasts do not define our femininity.

I am very conflicted about taking them out completely. I have come to love my implants. They are now a part of me. I look down and see my titties and I like them — but still, they are a foreign silicone object. When I was younger I used to have vivid dreams that I had large breasts, only to wake and find nothing. I wonder if now I will undergo the reverse. Will I experience phantom titties? I’ve been trapped in this back-and-forth for years — and I am still undecided.

In 2015, I finished a short documentary, Mami y Yo y Mi Gallito (Mom and Me and My Little Rooster) revolving around the first conversation I ever had with my mother about my body. It took me five years to get my mother to sit down for an interview. Throughout the film, it becomes very clear she does not care for the camera, yet she is such a high-femme character. When I bring up the issue of my implants, her reaction epitomizes her relationship to my body. To her, these implants complete me and help me toward my path of economic success and fitting in.

My mother is still a force in my life. In many ways whenever I confront her, my internal struggle resurfaces: Who are these implants for? Am I willing to keep something in my body that may cause me harm?

View Video ›

A clip from Mami y Yo y Mi Gallito (Mom and Me and My Little Rooster)

video-cdn.buzzfeed.com

I also filmed conversations with my sisters, my aunts, and other family members. Through documenting these dialogues, I have come to enjoy the different levels of hyperfemininity that the women in my family exude with their high heels, large breasts, and curves. And I have come to embrace their decision to undergo plastic surgery — bodily autonomy also includes the right to change their bodies in whatever ways they’d like.

However, I like to think that I push boundaries of communication within my family regarding our bodies and the expectations of others. All of this talking has helped. I am still undecided about my breast implants, but through the making of my film I have a better understanding of my family’s motivations in relation to my identity.

My relationship with my mother has also changed since making this short film. After the premiere, which she and everyone in my family attended, she came up and hugged me. “The next time you come around with your camera, don’t think that I’m going to be the same person I was in that movie — not anymore," she said. "From now on I’m going to be much more open. We can talk about whatever you’d like.”


LGBT Groups Say Trump’s Pick For The Supreme Court "Poses A Significant Threat"

$
0
0

Chip Somodevilla / Getty Images

The US Senate should “interrogate” President Donald Trump’s pick for the Supreme Court, several of the country’s top LGBT groups said on Thursday, warning that Judge Neil Gorsuch’s track record raises concerns he opposes same-sex marriage and transgender rights.

In a letter to leading members of the Senate Judiciary Committee obtained by BuzzFeed News, 19 organizations worried Gorsuch may stymie attempts to expand legal protections, saying, "We have concluded that his views on civil rights issues are fundamentally at odds with the notion that LGBT people are entitled to equality, liberty, justice and dignity under the law."

Gorsuch would serve on the Supreme Court as several LGBT cases percolate in the federal judiciary, including those asking whether transgender students and workers are protected under existing law, and if corporations are free to act based on their opposition to same-sex marriage.

The committee is set to begin confirmation hearings on Monday.

Led by Lambda Legal, one of the country’s top litigators in federal courts for LGBT protections, the letter is joined by the Transgender Law Center, Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund, and the Human Rights Campaign.

The groups note that Gorsuch, a member of the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals, has claimed to be an originalist — a legal view that interpretations of the Constitution should be fixed, based on their original intent.

“This philosophy essentially writes LGBT people out of the Constitution,” the groups wrote to Sen. Chuck Grassley and Sen. Dianne Feinstein, the respective chair and ranking member on the committee.

Past Supreme Court decisions to strike down bans on gay sex and legalize same-sex marriage were based on an evolving view of who is protected by the Constitution, the letter continues. “Based on his extensive record, there can be no doubt that, had he been on the Court, Judge Gorsuch would have rejected each of these basic rights.”

"Judge Gorsuch poses a significant threat to the LGBT community."

Gorsuch has never led a decision on same-sex marriage, but in a 2005 National Review op-ed, he wrote that “American liberals have become addicted to the courtroom . . . as the primary means of effecting their social agenda on everything from gay marriage” to other issues.

The groups also note that Judge Gorsuch joined an opinion rejecting a transgender woman’s discrimination claim. “In that case,” their letter says, “the school denied her access to the women’s restroom, and claimed that it had a non-discriminatory reason for doing so unrelated to her ‘sex’—‘safety concerns’ due to the discomfort-based complaints of other students.”

Gorsuch also sided with Hobby Lobby in a case over the rights of employers to withhold reproductive health care benefits that conflict with the employer’s religious views. “The Committee should interrogate Judge Gorsuch on his position in this area, as his views on ‘religious complicity’ go well beyond anything that currently exists in American jurisprudence."


43 Unspeakable Sexual Fantasies People Actually Have

$
0
0

BuzzFeed asked people to share their most secret sexual fantasies. Here are their open, honest, and very creative answers.

Tania Guerra for BuzzFeed News

When it comes to sexual fantasies, our minds can go to some weird, creative, and unexpected places. Since a lot of people have fantasies that they would never tell a partner — or even want to carry out in real life — other people's fantasies are pretty much a mystery. And because of that, you might feel like you're the only one in the world who fantasizes about a certain thing.

In hopes of ~demystifying~ the sexy and private inner worlds of other people, BuzzFeed asked people of all ages, genders, and sexualities to describe the nitty-gritty of their favorite sexual fantasies. And keep in mind: Your sexual fantasies are not bad or shameful. It's perfectly natural to fantasize about some wild scenarios — even ones that you have no desire or intention to carry out IRL.

Here’s what they said.

"I want a hot guy go down on me and make me come while my boyfriend watches so he can finally learn how to do it right."

—19/Female/Heterosexual

"To have a supernatural power to sleep with anyone that I choose and meet. Make them want to sleep with me regardless of their orientation. And have them have sex with me."

—30/Male/Gay


View Entire List ›

RuPaul Got Married On His 23rd Anniversary And It’s Just Too Much

$
0
0

Everybody say love!

While speaking to Hollywood Today Live, RuPaul announced for the first time on TV that he and his long-time partner, Georges, are married!

While speaking to Hollywood Today Live, RuPaul announced for the first time on TV that he and his long-time partner, Georges, are married!

Logo

To celebrate their 23rd anniversary, this January Ru and Georges tied the knot.

"I met him on the dancefloor at Limelight in 1994 on his birthday, so we got married on his birthday, the anniversary of when we met, this year in January," he Ru-vealed.

Instagram: @rupaulofficial

instagram.com

"When we have a chance to do anything he doesn't want me to come there – we want to go somewhere fabulous," RuPaul joked.

"When I go there, I dress up in the most gorgeous Western-wear outfits but nobody cares!”

Instagram: @rupaulofficial


View Entire List ›

Trans Women Shouldn’t Have To Constantly Defend Their Own Womanhood

$
0
0

Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson (left)

Via Transgriot

Forty years ago, the Washington, DC-based lesbian feminist record label Olivia Records needed a sound engineer – bad. Their big problem was that female sound engineers were a rare commodity in the mid-1970s: It was a male-dominated industry, and getting the training and experience necessary was, for most women, difficult in the extreme. So imagine their luck when the collective found a woman who not only was a capable recording engineer, but had even worked with the likes of Jimi Hendrix. That recording engineer was Sandy Stone, a trans woman.

Though it took some effort to convince her at first, Stone eventually joined the collective and happily started working on the backlog of folksy lesbian albums Olivia was excited to release to the small but growing "women’s music" market. But word travels fast in feminist circles, and when some fans of Olivia Records found out that Stone was trans, all hell broke loose.

Janice Raymond, an academic and radical lesbian feminist, was so inflamed by the notion that a trans woman had “stolen” a job from a deserving cis woman that she led a boycott that forced Stone to leave the collective (which eventually morphed from a record label into today’s Olivia Cruises, a lesbian cruise line). Soon afterward, Raymond wrote her 1979 book The Transsexual Empire: The Making of the She-Male, which crystallized the trans-exclusionary radical feminist (TERF) critique of “Sapphos by surgery.” Raymond and her ilk believed trans women were using male privilege to invade women’s spaces, and that by virtue of merely existing, trans women “raped women’s bodies by reducing the real female form to an artifact.”

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Leigh Vogel / Getty Images

Many trans-exclusionary feminists have dedicated themselves, in the years since the publication of The Transsexual Empire, to harassing trans women and attempting to eject us from women’s spaces, as well as from feminist movements as a whole. That exclusion is often justified with the claim that the male socialization we’re believed to have had — and the resulting privilege of that socialization — sets us too far apart from cis women. Because many of us are born with penises and do not menstruate, we are also cast all too often as a threat: something different and dangerous.

So, many trans women were neither surprised nor thrilled when acclaimed feminist writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie discussed how she felt about trans womanhood on Britain’s Channel 4 last Friday.

“When people talk about, ‘Are trans women women?’ My feeling is trans women are trans women,” Adichie said. “I think if you’ve lived in the world as a man, with the privileges that the world accords to men, and then sort of changed gender, it’s difficult for me to accept that then we can equate your experience with the experience of a woman who has lived from the beginning in the world as a woman and who has not been accorded those privileges that men are.”

After Adichie’s comments stirred angry debates online, she released a statement in which she positioned herself as supportive of LGBTQ rights, but reiterated many of the same ideas. She wrote that while she opposes violence against trans women, she still thinks that considering trans women’s experiences as part of women’s experiences more broadly “feels disingenuous” to her.

The specter of male privilege has long since been a way to deny trans women’s womanhood and basic humanity. Invoking male privilege is often meant to imply that trans women don’t know what it is like to live as “real” women — that we have not suffered the way other women have suffered, that we have not been disenfranchised by patriarchy because of our genders, and that our early experiences allow us access to forms of social power which influence how we move through the world even after we transition. This argument, beyond hinging all of womanhood on a relatively singular experience of suffering, has often been used to flatten the vast array of different life experiences among trans women and other transfeminine-spectrum people. At worst, it contributes to a culture of violence, harassment, exclusion, and erasure that presents a real threat to the lives and physical safety of the most marginalized among us.

Invoking male privilege is often meant to imply that trans women don’t know what it is like to live as “real” women — that we have not suffered the way other women have suffered.

In the standard trans narrative, our lives can be neatly demarcated into two sections: “before” and “after” transition. Adichie’s comments reflect that narrative: She assumes the typical trans woman has “lived in the world as a man...and then sort of changed gender.” But when I was younger, long before the rights of trans youth had entered the mainstream media, it just wasn’t that simple — and it’s not that simple for so many others.

My childhood was spent as a visibly gender-nonconforming child: I frequently passed as a girl and elicited confusion from every adult around me, including my parents. Even before high school I insisted on wearing makeup and girl’s clothes, and was bullied so often that I was eventually forced to drop out of school at 16. That same year, I started taking hormones. I never lived in the world as a man and before I transitioned my grasp on boyhood was tenuous at best.

Laverne Cox

Jamie Mccarthy / Getty Images

Like many young trans women, I repeatedly experienced harassment, physical assault, and sexual assault. As trans activist Raquel Willis tweeted in response to Adichie’s male privilege comments, “This convo falls apart with more and more trans folks coming out at younger ages.” But my white privilege ensured that I was one of the lucky ones, while trans women of color, particularly black and Latina trans women, often experience far worse. In the past month, three young black trans women — Ciara McElveen, Chyna Gibson, and Jaquarrius Holland — were killed within days of each other in Louisiana.

While not all trans women transition in the same ways, and no transition path is more or less valid than another, the experiences of those of us who transition early seriously call into question the idea of a monolithic male socialization. Novelist and poet Kai Cheng Thom observes that “male socialization, for us, is actually a coded message: "You’re not who you think you are. If you try to be anything other than what we say, you’ll be punished.”

Actress Laverne Cox broke down the notion of male privilege still further in a recent series of moving tweets. “Narrative which suggests that all trans women transition from male privilege erases a lot of experiences and isn't intersectional,” she wrote. “Gender is constituted differently based on the culture we live in. There's no universal experience of gender, of womanhood.”

“Patriarchy and cis-sexism punished my femininity and gender nonconformity,” she added. “The irony of my life is prior to transition I was called a girl and after I am often called a man.”

As many black feminists — like Kimberlé Crenshaw, who coined the term intersectionality — have been pointing out for decades, race and class divisions create a such variety of life experiences that we can only come to view the idea of a singular experience of girlhood and womanhood as a myth. No one is actually saying trans women and cis women's experiences are exactly the same — and that's because no two women's experiences are exactly the same. There is not one womanhood, but many.

The myth of a singular (cisgender) experience of womanhood has led to real-world consequences for countless trans women. In 1995, for example, Canadian trans woman Kimberly Nixon attempted to volunteer at Vancouver Rape Relief after herself escaping an abusive relationship with a man. She had used women’s services to help find the strength to leave her abuser, and now wanted to give back to the community and help other women in similar situations.

On the first day of her training, Nixon was outed to Vancouver Rape Relief staff, who then ejected her from the building — sparking a legal case that would wind its way through the Canadian legal system for most of the following decade. Vancouver Rape Relief believed that Nixon, having once been a “man” who therefore experienced male privilege, did not share the common experience of having been assigned female at birth, and thus could not be allowed to provide crisis counseling to other women fleeing abusive relationships. Nixon won her initial case, but the BC Supreme Court reversed the decision on appeal, allowing special interest groups to define their own terms for membership — in other words, letting VRR determine which women counted as women, despite their legal gender status.

Perhaps the most well-known case of trans exclusion in the United States is the longstanding womyn-born-womyn only policy of the now-defunct Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. In 1992, the festival ejected Nancy Burkholder from the festival grounds, commonly known as "the Land," for being a trans woman (though trans men had been and continued to be welcome on the Land). This ignited a powder keg of tensions between cis and trans feminists, and led activists such as Riki Anne Wilchins and Leslie Feinberg to start a yearly protest called Camp Trans. MichFest’s anti-trans woman policy continued to divide women’s communities in North America for the next 20 years. All trans women, and our friends and allies, had wanted was to listen to some feminist folk music in the woods with other women — but rather than allow this, the festival closed its gates in 2015.

No one is actually saying trans women and cis women's experiences are exactly the same — and that's because no two women's experiences are exactly the same. There is not one womanhood, but many.

While some feminists have worked tirelessly to tell trans women we aren’t welcome, this hasn’t always been the case. As lesbian writer and activist Sarah Schulman recently wrote on Facebook, organizations like the Lesbian Avengers in the 1990s were consciously trans-inclusive from the start. “There are those of us out here who have always believed in a trans-inclusive women's community, regardless of what thoughtless over-amplified [sic] contrary opinions may be in circulation,” Schulman wrote. “I know it is painful when ignorance gets a platform, but do not let it overwhelm all the love and connection that is and has been there.”

While some cis feminists are openly hateful, like Janice Raymond, many are more middle-of-the-road when it comes to trans women and trans inclusion. But that kind of neutrality does nothing to stop the introduction of still more anti-trans bathroom bills, nor does it help trans women gain access to vitally needed women’s services. Neutrality certainly doesn’t do anything to stem the tides of violence many trans women, particularly trans women of color and sex workers, experience on a near-daily basis.

Still, I hold out hope that mainstream cis feminism as a whole will come around. In 1973, cis lesbian feminist Jean O’Leary spoke at the Christopher Street Liberation Day rally in New York City on behalf of the Lesbian Feminist Liberation collective. In her speech, she denounced trans women and drag queens as misogynists. Her fiery words inspired Sylvia Rivera, a trans activist and a patron saint of trans liberation, to literally fight her way to the stage and wrestle away the microphone from gay activist Vito Russo. Rivera delivered a powerful speech about trans women’s experiences of sexual violence and imprisonment, and their abandonment by mainstream white gay and lesbian leaders.

Years later, Jean O’Leary would come to regret her actions against trans women. “You know, I really hate talking about this,” she was quoted as saying in Eric Marcus’s 2002 book Making Gay History. We decided to attack men who did it for profit — professional female impersonators and prostitutes. This is so embarrassing. I can hardly believe that we believed this.”

“I don’t believe in separatism now, so for me to sit here and go back twenty years and say, ‘These are the reasons why women have to be separate’ is very difficult,” she added. "But this is how it was then, and I realize that we have to go back and talk about these things so that people can learn from history.”


Viewing all 9390 articles
Browse latest View live


<script src="https://jsc.adskeeper.com/r/s/rssing.com.1596347.js" async> </script>