Warning: This story contains MAJOR SPOILERS for the Jan. 7 episode of Star Trek: Discovery.

Wilson Cruz on Star Trek: Discovery.

Michael Gibson / CBS

When Wilson Cruz first learned about what was going to happen to his character Dr. Hugh Culber on Sunday's episode of Star Trek: Discovery, he cried.

Playing the recurring role of Dr. Culber had been "a perfect fit" for Cruz, he said, in part because he got to make TV history as one half of the first major same-sex love story on a Star Trek series, along with fellow out actor Anthony Rapp, who is part of the main cast as the persnickety scientist Lt. Paul Stamets. The previous episode had ended on a major cliffhanger — and marked a midseason hiatus for the series, which streams in the US on CBS All Access — and Cruz was eager to learn what was next in store for his character.

Then showrunners Aaron Harberts and Gretchen J. Berg broke the news to Cruz: Culber was going to die.

"It was hard," Cruz told BuzzFeed News. "There were tears."

He's likely not the only one. Culber's death may appear to be the latest in a long and unhappy trend of TV shows killing off their LGBT characters — a creative tic that approached epidemic levels in 2016, popularizing the trope "bury your gays" and sparking major fan outcry.

"I understand why people are upset," said Cruz, who spent two years working as a GLAAD spokesperson. "I am familiar with the problematic tendencies of television shows to do away with their LGBT characters, especially people of color."

But Cruz, Harberts, and Berg all insisted to BuzzFeed News that Culber's death in Discovery will not be another “bury your gays” moment.

From left: Jason Isaacs, Anthony Rapp, and Cruz on Star Trek: Discovery.

CBS

"I give you my word that this is not what that is," said Cruz. "What's being planned is something we haven't really had an opportunity to see LGBT characters experience. I'm really excited about it."

According to the showrunners, Culber's death will not terminate the character's narrative arc on the show, nor will it be the last time Cruz appears. "This is a beginning, rather than an ending," said Harberts. "We're more than happy to put our gay couple front and center and let them guide the audience on a story of love and loss and redemption and heroism and grief and life and all of those things."

"There is a timelessness and endlessness to how we envision Hugh and Stamets," added Berg. "They're the couple with the epic love story. We knew in order to have an epic love story, you have to have big things happen and have really high stakes."

“We knew in order to have an epic love story, you have to have big things happen and have really high stakes.”

The words "epic love story" have scarcely (if ever) been used in reference to previous iterations of Star Trek, where the strongest emotional bonds have largely been platonic and collegial among fellow officers, most famously between Kirk and Spock. Soon after the premiere of Star Trek in 1966, however, fans seized on the Kirk/Spock relationship in speculative fiction — popularly known as slash fiction — that imagines the characters in at times wildly creative sexual encounters with each other. But while fans were eager to picture the characters through an LGBT lens, for over 50 years the franchise, so popular for its embrace of egalitarian values, rarely explored same-sex intimacy and never included a main character on a Trek TV series who was definitively queer.

So when the creators of Discovery chose to make Stamets and Culber the franchise's first long-term same-sex couple, the representational pressures on the characters — and the openly gay actors playing them — were enormous.

"Anthony and I were obviously aware of the fact … that fans were clamoring for it," said Cruz. "So we felt really proud and excited that we get to give that gift to the audience and be those people that they had been looking forward to, and that we were looking forward to seeing."

The fan response "has been really overwhelming," Cruz said with a laugh. "They're thanking me as if I wrote it!"

Rapp and Cruz on Star Trek: Discovery.

Michael Gibson / CBS

Given the outpouring of fan enthusiasm for Stamets and Culber — and the uproar over the deaths of LGBT characters on other popular genre shows like The 100, The Walking Dead, and Person of Interest — why didn't the Discovery writers simply avoid controversy altogether by keeping Culber alive?

For Harberts and Berg, that is simply the wrong question to be asking.

"You have to ask yourself, are you worried about an initial reaction, or are you worried about a macro experience?" said Harberts, who is openly gay. "We knew that our side of the street is clean. And we know that our actors understand what this journey is all about. We have faith that if our audience is so enraged and thinks that we would actually lean into a [bury your gays] trope, then they don't really understand what we're about as storytellers."

Understanding the tricky factors at play with their decision, the producers did run it by GLAAD — and received the organization’s blessing. In a statement to BuzzFeed News, spokesperson Nick Adams said that GLAAD is “mourning … the death of a beloved groundbreaking character,” but went on to note that “death is not always final in the Star Trek universe, and we know the producers plan to continue exploring and telling Stamets and Culber's epic love story.”

For Harberts and Berg, the wide open narrative possibilities presented by Star Trek — a sci-fi show predicted on boldly going where no one's gone before — greatly outweigh any fear of immediate fan backlash, especially on a show with a serialized storyline that still has five episodes left in the season.

“Why would we limit an opportunity to allow our gay characters to show the audience something truly profound?"

"Why would we limit ourselves?” said Harberts. “Why would we limit the audience's experience, and why would we limit an opportunity to allow our gay characters to show the audience something truly profound?"

Exactly how that story will play out is something that Harberts and Berg were unwilling to spoil. Similarly, they declined to comment on whether how Culber died — at the hands of Lt. Ash Tyler (Shazad Latif), after Culber discovered he had been somehow surgically altered at the hands of the Klingons — confirms a popular fan theory that Tyler is actually the Klingon character Voq, who played a crucial role in the first three episodes of the season and then mysteriously disappeared.

It's clear, though, that Harberts and Berg have high ambitions for where they want to take Stamets and Culber's relationship on Discovery. "After this journey is all done, the hope is that their romance will be, if not the most iconic gay romance [on TV], you know, in the top five," said Harberts.

Similarly, Cruz offered this enthusiastic teaser: "My favorite experience on camera in my entire career is still yet to be seen in this series."

Lainey Carmichael (left) and Roz Kitschke with celebrant Jason Betts.

Rodney Croome

As the sun rose on Tuesday morning, Roz Kitschke and Lainey Carmichael said their vows in the backyard of their home in Franklin, Tasmania.

It was a picturesque scene: a dam visible in the background of the seven-acre property, the brides and their families and friends gathered on the grass.

"We set up beautiful tents and lights and love hearts," Carmichael told BuzzFeed News. "It just looked magical."

The proceedings kicked off around 5:30am, a schedule based on a rather practical, and very Australian, concern.

"It was mainly for the heat, to be honest!" said Kitschke. "We knew the weather would be cooler."

But the symbolism of the sun rising as they were finally able to join millions other married couples around Australia wasn't lost, either.

"New day, new era," she said.

Rebecca Hickson and Sarah Turnbull got married in Newcastle on Tuesday.

Dan Himbrechts / AAPIMAGE

January 9 marks a new normal in Australia: It's not the first day same-sex marriages are recognised, but it is the first day that most couples could actually tie the knot, after waiting out a standard 30-day notice period for marrying in Australia.

A small number of couples were granted waivers to hold their weddings early due to international travel or illness, meaning the very first same-sex weddings were conducted before Christmas.

But for most, Tuesday marked the end of the 30-day notice period. Some couples got in as soon as they could by holding midnight weddings, saying "I do" just as the clock ticked over into the new year.

Craig Burns and Luke Sullivan were married just after midnight in Tweed Heads, NSW.

Instagram: @sarahmayalexander_celebrant

Teegan Daly and Mahatia Minnieco were married after midnight in Melbourne.

Instagram: @christianmarcphotography

Kelly and Sam Pilgrim-Byrne married just after midnight in Perth outside the WA parliament.

Instagram: @tim4perth

Gillian Brady and Lisa Goldsmith held one of the first same-sex marriage ceremonies in Western Australia at The Court hotel in Perth.

Matt Jelonek / Getty Images

Some of the couples marrying on Tuesday – such as Melbourne's Ron van Houwelingen and Antony McManus – had married each other before, in civil or non-legally binding ceremonies.

After becoming engaged in 2014, Kitschke and Carmichael held a civil ceremony in South Australia.

"To us that was our wedding," Kitschke said. "We thought that was all it might ever be. We hoped like everyone else the rest might follow through–"

Carmichael finished her sentence: "–but we never put any energy into when it would happen, because who would have known, right?"

One stranger was among the guests at the early morning do in Tasmania: longtime marriage equality campaigner Rodney Croome. Carmichael said they didn't know Croome, but felt it was important to invite him "after everything he'd done".

"He was so grateful that we’d [invited] him – but we felt like he’d done something for us! All the years of fighting, he deserved it."

Croome, who was also invited to give the wedding toast, said it was a "privilege" to attend the ceremony.

"I've been to weddings of gay friends in New Zealand and in the British Consulate in Sydney and it was so wonderful to attend a wedding at home here in Australia," he said.

"Roz and Lainey's marriage marks the start of a new chapter in their lives and also a new chapter in the life of the nation."

History made, Kitschke is looking forward to living as part of a happily married couple "like everybody else in Australia".

"Like we always were," Carmichael added.

And their immediate plans?

“We’re off to drink more champagne!”

Gerard Bottino / NEWZULU

Every year, on the first Saturday of March, hundreds of thousands of tourists and Sydneysiders line Oxford Street. Many wave rainbow pride flags as shimmying dancers, community stalwarts, and corporate behemoths march past as part of the Mardi Gras parade.

At this year's parade, which marks Mardi Gras' 40th anniversary, a lesser-known flag – the pastel blue, pink and white stripes representing the transgender community – will adorn the float of the NSW Trans Youth Alliance, a newly-formed group for trans and gender diverse youth.

Felix, an 18-year-old transgender man from Western Sydney, told BuzzFeed News it was "incredibly important" to him that transgender youth march on their own terms.

"It’s really fundamental that the youth become empowered," he said.

Kath Power with her son Vio.

BuzzFeed

The float grew out of a Facebook group for transgender teens started by Kath Power, a psychologist from Martinsville, a two hour drive north of Sydney.

Last year, Power and her husband chaperoned five young gender diverse people – their son, Vio, and four friends – at a float organised by the parent support group at the Gender Centre.

She described marching with the group as an "amazing privilege".

"The photos I’ve got of the kids, the laughter on their face," she said. "The love. You’re marginalised, and now you’re getting cheered."

But it made her think there should be a float exclusively for transgender and gender diverse young people as well — particularly those who may not have supportive parents.

The fledgling NSW Trans Youth Alliance, which was established four months ago, consists mostly of teenagers who met through LGBTI youth camp Camp Out, and their friends from Sydney and surrounds. But they have plans to include more members and set up an organising committee.

Power does some of the administrative tasks for the teens, such as submitting the float application, but the decisions and direction of the float are up to them.

Their logo, the delightfully quirky "transburger", was designed by a member of the group and chosen by its members.

The group plans to march with a number of banners, some declaring messages along the lines of "Trans And Proud" and "Gender Freedom", and another to thank the trailblazing '78ers who marched at the first Mardi Gras in 1978 and were met with police violence and arrests.

The "transburger" logo.

Supplied

Power said a number of the kids in the group don't have strong support from their families, but are not particularly involved with the LGBT community either.

"They don’t go to the bars, to [queer party events] Heaps Gay, they don’t do that. Is it confidence? I don’t know."

But she hopes participating in Mardi Gras will give the teens strength, and show they are supported and connected to the community.

"It's hard enough just being a teenager, let alone being trans!" she said. "And a lot of them are gay as well."

2017 was bittersweet for transgender youth in Australia. The transgender community was targeted in several advertisements and claims made by the "no" campaign in the same-sex marriage survey — a process Felix said had a negative impact on him and most of his friends.

But many were elated when, the same week marriage equality passed the Senate in December, the Family Court overturned a ruling that had required transgender teenagers to apply to the court in order to start cross-sex hormone treatment.

Now, transgender people under 18 can be prescribed the medication by their doctor as with any other treatment, so long as they, their parents and their treating doctors agree.

For Felix, 2017 was a year of change. He began the year marching at Mardi Gras for the first time, made it through his final year of high school, got into university where he will study to become an English teacher, and his family came around to completely accept him as transgender.

He is excited to march for a second time, surrounded by his friends.

"I’m marching because it’s a celebration for who I am and a celebration to show I support everyone around me," Felix said.

"You get to really be proud of yourself for this one day of the year and everyone can be a part of it."

Twitter: @TransLawCenter

A Wisconsin school district will pay $800,000 to a transgender high school student as part of settlement over a discrimination lawsuit filed by him.

Ash Whitaker, a former Tremper High School student, had sued the Kenosha Unified School District (KUSD) in July 2016 for banning him from the boys' bathroom, subjecting him to daily surveillance, and threatening disciplinary action for using the boys' bathroom.

Whitaker graduated high school in June 2017, days after the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in favor of his challenge against the school district, and upheld a lower court's decision allowing him to use the boys' bathroom for his senior year.

As part of the settlement, KUSD withdrew its US Supreme Court appeal challenging that decision, according to the Transgender Law Center, which represented Whitaker in the case.

The settlement also forbids KUSD from discriminating against Whitaker in the future if he decides to return to campus as an alumnus. The school board voted 5–2 Tuesday on the $800,000 settlement with Whitaker, Kenosha News reported.

"I am deeply relieved that this long, traumatic part of my life is finally over and I can focus on my future and simply being a college student,” Whitaker said in a statement released by the Transgender Law Center.

"Winning this case was so empowering and made me feel like I can actually do something to help other trans youth live authentically," he said.

Tremper High School

Google Maps

Whitaker alleged that his former high school discriminated against him by proposing that all trans students should wear bright green labels to monitor their restroom use. In his complaint, Whitaker said that school officials insisted on calling him by his birth name and using female pronouns for him.

The school initially forbade him for running for junior prom king and isolated him from his peers during a week-long orchestra camp, according to his complaint. Because the school "invasively" monitored his restroom use, Whitaker tried to avoid using the bathroom altogether, and suffered from depression and anxiety, the lawsuit alleged.

Now, KUSD will pay $800,000 "for the harm Ash experienced as a student and his reasonable attorneys’ fees and costs," the Transgender Law Center said.

"This settlement sends the clear message to all school districts that discriminating against transgender students is against the law and harms students who simply want to go to school," Joseph Wardenski, one of Whitaker's attorneys, said in a statement.

"My message to other trans kids is to respect themselves and accept themselves and love themselves," Whitaker, who is now a freshman at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, said. "If someone’s telling you that you don’t deserve that, prove them wrong."

LINK: Federal Appeals Court Rules In Favor Of Transgender Student

I cherish every one of these.

In case you missed it, figure skater Adam Rippon just became the first openly gay man to qualify for Team USA at a Winter Olympics.

Matthew Stockman / Getty Images

And while it's indisputable that Adam is incredibly talented on the ice, what I'm *really* here for are his tweets. They're *kisses fingers like an Italian chef* impeccable.

Matthew Stockman / Getty Images

On who he would skate with in pairs (which he doesn't compete in...) as a gay man:

Twitter: @Adaripp

Keep doing your thang, Adam! We're rooting for ya.

Fox

Let’s talk about ~throbbing members~.

If you're anything like me, some of your formative sex education — for better or for worse — came from NSFW fanfiction.

Rebecca Hendin / BuzzFeed

And you probably know that for every rec-worthy fic, there are three more that are cringeworthy, over-the-top, or just plain wrong about sex, even if they're hot AF.

FOX / Via giphy.com

So, we want to hear all your gripes and rants about sex in fanfic.

Columbia Pictures / Via imgur.com

What things did fanfic "teach" you that you later found out were not true at all?

Netflix / Via buzzfeed.com

What are the things that make you yell "THAT'S NOT HOW THAT WORKS" at your screen?

taluluto.tumblr.com

Which tropes, words, euphemisms, etc. show up ALL. THE. TIME. and make you sick?

Warner Bros. / Via weheartit.com

And don't be afraid to go into detail, get explicit, and have fun with it.

Ryan Pattie / BuzzFeed

Because of her desire to dress "like a little girl," Paola was disowned by her Ecuadorian family when she was only 8 years old. She survived on the streets until the age of 15, before she began doing sex work. Then she met a man who beat her for several years, and she became HIV positive after being raped by six men as she was exiting a nightclub, having only just arrived in France. And yet it is prison, where she spent only three days, that remains "the worst experience" of her life.

She did a brief stint in the French city of Lille's northern correctional facility, where she was transferred in 2014. "The other detainees were in the courtyard, they were shouting, 'We don't want any women here!' They all wanted to hit me," she remembers today.

Paola was incarcerated in an all-male establishment, just like the vast majority of transgender women whose legal gender is marked as male, and who haven't undergone sex reassignment surgery. In France, as in many other countries, it is the gender that is inscribed on one's identification that determines where one will be detained, at least officially. "Men and women are to be incarcerated in separate establishments," Article D248 of the French criminal procedure code specifies. But what about trans and nonbinary people? What is a man and what is a woman in the eyes of the French prison administration? It seems to have quite a hard time wrapping its head around the question, even though transgender detainees — the vast majority of whom are women — are the group that "suffers the most" in prison, according to Adeline Hazan, the controller-general of Places for Deprivation of Liberty.

Recent news has demonstrated this, with the "worrying" conditions under which an American transgender woman by the name of Kara B. is being detained, after she was found guilty in a well-publicized trial about a police car that was set on fire during a protest in Paris in 2016. Paola's story is far from an isolated incident.

Ryan Pattie / BuzzFeed

Hailing from Argentina, Daiana, her hair dyed blonde and large red hoop earrings framing her face, tells the story of how she was incarcerated for a year in the all-male correctional facility of Fleury-Mérogis, to the south of Paris, because her legal gender status was male. She was in a cell of the D3 building, where special quarters had been set up for detainees described as "vulnerable," several transgender women among them. Around six of them were locked up there when she arrived, in December 2012.

Beatriz also did a stint there, arriving in September 2013, and remaining for two years. "I submitted a request to be put with the women, but I was told 'No, you haven't had surgery.' But I'm a woman!" she says, showing her Argentinian passport, which lists her as female. Based on that, why put her in with the men, if what you're going on is the criminal procedure code?

"All states are sovereign when it comes to the rules of what their nationality grants," her lawyer, Joachim Cellier, says. "It isn't that French law doesn't recognize her Argentinian legal gender, but it says, You have a gender that doesn't correspond to your body, so it is up to you to go all the way through with the procedure. For the prison administration, the only thing that matters is a person's biological sex. ... It's stupid and mean."

Yet this unwritten rule doesn't apply to everyone. An Ecuadorian national whose legal gender is male, Ariana underwent gender affirmation surgery in August 1998, on her birthday. Arrested in the French city of Nantes, in Brittany, in November 2011, she was initially sent to an all-male prison in Lorient, about 100 miles from there. "I stayed there for a week, waiting for an answer from Fleury-Mérogis, even though I didn't want to go there. I was told, 'It's a modern prison, adapted to your needs.' I thought they meant adapted to women."

But when she got there, she got a nasty shock: "I read the words, 'Men's Prison.' Everyone was checking me out and laughing at me, the guards included. One of them looked at me and said: 'There must have been a mistake — this is a men's prison here.' I would cry in my cell, in solitary confinement. I couldn't stand it," she recounts, with tears in her eyes.

"I would cry in my cell, in solitary confinement. I couldn't stand it."

On Jan. 13, 2012, Ariana was finally transferred to the women's prison in Fleury. But her relief was short-lived: Three months later, the prison administration ordered her to return to building D3, with the men.

"I said I was going to file a complaint. Finally they took me to see a gynecologist, to make sure that I was 'really' a woman. ... The whole thing was a circus," says Ariana, who had been denied access to a gynecologist during her stay in the men's quarters. "Then I was told, 'Now that we see you are a woman, you are going to be transferred over to the women's, in Fleury.'"

It was only once her provisional detainment was over that she was finally transferred to the women's prison in Nantes — which is what she had initially requested, so she could be closer to her place of residence and to her partner at the time.

It's hard to know, ultimately, what rules win out for trans people, who are sometimes reduced to their genitalia, and other times to their legal gender. So everyone deals with it as well as they can, even if it sometimes means having to circumvent the law.

"Overall, efforts are actually being made, but there is this constant risk of things being cast back into doubt, since every prison does its own thing. A change in directors can completely reverse the situation in an establishment, for better or for worse," says François Bes, the Study Center coordinator at the International Prison Observatory.

Michel Fix, who was the head doctor of the ambulatory care and consultation unit for the Fleury-Mérogis prison for 13 years, acknowledges having repeatedly advocated for transgender people who had transitioned, but whose legal gender was still male, to be housed with the women.

"I also wanted transgender people who had not undergone surgery but who were very feminine-presenting to be put in the women's facilities," he says. "However, the prison administration later refused this kind of restructuring on the basis of a reminder notice issued by Christiane Taubira, then–justice minister, which specified that no detainee whose legal name and gender was male could be incarcerated with women, regardless of their physical appearance."

Anne Lécu, a doctor at the Fleury-Mérogis women's prison, remembers one case in particular: "For a person who wanted to be closer to their family, I was sometimes asked, 'Where do we put him?' I responded in a clear way that it wasn't up to me to decide. It's a process that I don't want to get dragged into." Out of a dozen follow-ups since the year 2000, she claims not to have had "any negative experiences in the women's quarters with a transgender person who had transitioned," and that everyone there who wanted hormones got them.

Ryan Pattie / BuzzFeed

In the men's facilities, the finding is far more mixed. Access to treatment is far from a given for people whose health concerns already tend to add up. "Transgender persons are considerably more likely to have hepatitis and HIV; many of them have difficult lives, and are in very precarious situations," Lécu says.

"When they are incarcerated, they find themselves without access to treatment from one day to the next, an experience they find very difficult, and that lasts up until whenever they see me, up to one month after their arrival. I always provide hormonal treatment, but if they have other concerns, which may or may not be related to being transgender, then things get complicated," says endocrinologist Alfred Penfornis, who shows up once a month at the men's prison in Fleury and once every two months at the women's facility.

Detainees can thus find themselves with no treatment for several months on end, even several years. "They didn't want to give me my hormones — I only got them two months before I left," says Beatriz. The same goes for Ariana, who had to wait to be transferred to the women's center before she could obtain any hormones. Daiana says that she was deprived of hormones due to her hepatitis C. As she was already living with HIV (with an undetectable viral load since 2007), prison only increased her vulnerability: "I developed cancer while in jail. I was anxious and depressed. If they hadn't freed me, I would be dead, because they were doing nothing for me." In December 2013, she was finally transferred to the Parisian Pitié-Salpêtrière hospital, where she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease, a type of lymphatic cancer, and had to undergo an operation.

Freed in April 2014 after having been incarcerated for 16 years in several establishments in France, Chloe was one of the first people to demand hormonal treatment and women's clothing while in jail. Because she was secretly wearing skirts in her cell in the evenings, a prison guard asked her to get changed one day. And so began her long struggle.

Chloe began with a hunger strike, which lasted for three months. She also inflicted a lot of self-harm. "I burned my arms, I cut myself with razor blades, I chopped one of my fingers off," she says, shortly after having been released from prison, her arms covered in numerous scars. In 2005, Chloe asked to be seen by an endocrinologist so she could begin hormonal treatment. She was promised an appointment, which never came. A few months later, a detainee who was coming back from leave secretly brought her some hormones. She took the birth control pills for a few days, while she waited for the official treatment, which was granted to her in June 2006 by the city of Caen's regional psychological and medical support service.

But shortly thereafter, her request for sex reassignment surgery was denied. "When I asked for this thing to be surgically removed, they told me that they weren't allowed to, that I could just cut it off myself," she says. Chloe took this provocation to heart: In February 2006, she was sent to the emergency room, having maimed her penis with a doornail. Then she was sent back in 2008 and 2009 for "testicular necrosis" and "superinfection." It was only in 2013 that she would finally be granted the surgery she wanted, after a new, unsustainable chain of violent acts.

Ryan Pattie / BuzzFeed

In December 2012, Chloe's request was granted; she was authorized "to purchase female clothing items and products from the prison commissary, to be used and worn exclusively within the confines of her cell."

She acquired her first bra, some makeup, and a sewing machine to allow her to make her own skirts. A guard mocked her when she requested a nightgown. According to a different guard from Caen, who preferred to remain anonymous, "Makeup and female clothing are forbidden in correctional facilities, although it is possible to wear a skirt when going out on leave."

In fact, the criminal procedure code allows each prison to apply its own rules in this instance as well. It states: "Exceptionally, when the director of a prison grants his authorization, and in accordance with the parameters that he defines, a detainee may acquire objects that are not on the list of objects provided by the prison commissary." For one former ranking officer at the Fleury men's correctional facility (who wished to remain anonymous), this means "wearing women's clothing is permitted," he says.

"It was complicated, but I got some," Beatriz confirms. "First they said no to me, then yes." But even though she was being detained in the same quarters, Daiana wasn't so lucky: "I couldn't have any women's things — no bras, no makeup."

"With better rules, certain conflicts could be avoided," says the prison guard from Caen.

When she arrived in Fleury, Ariana was searched by a woman, before a higher-up ordered her to stop. "Persons being detained can only be searched by officers of the same sex and under conditions that, while continuing to guarantee that the check is conducted successfully, uphold the fundamental dignity and respect due to the human person," states the disposition in Article R57-7-81 of the criminal procedure code. In 2010, the director of the Caen correctional facility, Karine Vernière, believed she was doing a good thing when she ordered that Chloe's body search be performed by two officers: "A man for the bottom half and a woman for the top half."

"Given her breasts, I had thought at the time, although undoubtedly a little too quickly and on my own, that this was a good solution," she said in late 2014. (The board of the prison administration declined a recent interview request.) But the Ministry of Justice had by then canceled Vernière's service notice: A person who was for administrative purposes listed as a man had to be searched by a man.

Ryan Pattie / BuzzFeed

Between the walls of prisons, our society's anti-trans bias is exacerbated. In 2010, a handout from an officer who belonged to the CGT prison guards union mentioned, in reference to Chloe, a "detainee about whom no one knows whether they're male or female, who is always bothering us (to avoid saying something else), and who, incidentally, makes us come across as total dumbasses." Beatriz recalls the anti-trans attitude of prison guards:

"When some trans people who didn't speak French arrived, they took advantage of the situation and started calling them 'trannies.' Even the girl guards were mocking. They would say: 'Look, a transvestite!' It was the first time that had happened to me. In my country, I got respect."

Beatriz also wasn't expecting to become the victim of both physical and psychological attacks by other detainees. "In order to bring me to the courthouse, they put me into the back of a van with some boys. They called me a fag. They spit on me," she recounts. "I said this to the judge and the answer I got was that this was normal: 'Seeing as you're a prostitute, you should be used to that kind of thing.'"

"They called me a fag. They spit on me."

It’s your time to shine.

Coming out is a transformational experience in the lives of LGBT people.

This is my friend Matt, and we can all agree she glow'd the fuck up.

BuzzFeed / Matt Ford

And for many, it also affects the way they present themselves to the world.

Andreas Solaro / AFP / Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

With puberty and coming out behind you, you basically get to be a cuter, more authentic version of yourself.

Twitter: @femscum / Via Twitter: @femscum

Send us your 🏳️‍🌈 gay 🏳️‍🌈 glow-up pictures — in a side-by-side format — using the DropBox below, and you could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post or video!

Let’s retire the term ~BAE~ forever.

We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us which relationship habits people need to quit ASAP, and we got a lot of awesome, thoughtful responses.

They were all really honest tips that anyone should keep in mind if they want to have a strong, healthy relationship.

Twitter: @ltskermit

Creating and using joint Facebook accounts.

There is something very unsettling to me about making joint social media accounts, email addresses, etc., with your significant other. Like I understand when you're married and your bank accounts are now joined. But can’t you still have your own personalities and individuality elsewhere? Having a couple's Facebook is unnecessary.

—PHM8

NBC / Via tenor.com

"Jokingly" dragging your S.O. or talking about very private things with your partner in front of everyone.

The ~cringiest~ thing for me is when someone "jokingly" drags their significant other in front of other people, especially when it's in public. You can always tell the S.O. that got dragged is angry or embarrassed. It feels a lot different when you're on blast in front of friends or family, and it's just as awkward for us as it is for the person being insulted.

—amiew14

NBC / Via tenor.com

Referring to yourself as "we," for literally everything.

I am not a fan of couples who answer with "we" this, and "we" that. I love to have my own hobbies and do my own thing, which is completely separate from my bf and the things we enjoy doing together. You and your significant other are not one person. Stop saying "we" to absolutely everything.

—Emily Ash, Facebook

TBS / Via imgur.com

And on that same note, saying "we're pregnant."

Saying "we’re pregnant." No, you’re not both pregnant. You’re both expecting, but only the woman is actually experiencing the pregnancy.

—katiem4708af964

NBC / Via popkey.co

Talking about your significant other 24/7.

This might just make me a heartless person, but it irritates me when people go on and on about their significant other ALL. THE. TIME. Look, a sweet shout out is really cute. But some people just can't talk about anything but their boyfriend or girlfriend and it gets really annoying.

—ileftmyheartinnarnia

CBS / Via tenor.com

Or needing to be around them 24/7 in order to enjoy yourself.

Requiring every minute from a partner is over the top and one of the fastest ways to push the other people in your life away. I didn't see one of our friends very often, and when we did, he had to bring his girlfriend along. Then when our conversations were longer than five minutes, something on her ~hurt~ and they had to leave immediately — every single time.

—l434c698c9

BRAVO / Via reactiongifs.com

Relying on each other for literally all your emotional — and sometimes physical — needs.

It's nice to be in a relationship, but your partner is not responsible for your overall well-being and happiness. You are responsible for that. So try to keep some independence and solve issues on your own, or go to your family and friends for advice too. Also take your physical needs into your own hands and masturbate every now and then. YOU DON'T need your partner for everything.

—samarra29

Billboard.com / Via tenor.com

Posting literally everything about your relationship on social media.

Posting about your significant other on social media is awesome! But there are some things that should stay private between partners, especially any drama they're having. Putting on social media that you're upset with your boyfriend won’t fix anything and could even escalate the problem. Work things out face to face, without any input from ~Aunt Linda~ in the comments section.

—caitlinr4797237c9

NBC / Via reddit.com

Using the word "BAE"...ever.

I think the habit everyone needs to quit ASAP is using the idiotic term "BAE." It's the fastest way to have me rolling my eyes and not listening to anything else you have to say.

—insaned

BRAVO / Via tenor.com

Complaining about your relationship problems to anyone who will listen, but not actually talking them out with your partner.

I can't stand when people bitch about their spouses/significant others all the time to everyone and anyone that will listen. They complain about their relationship problems and do nothing to fix them. Maybe if you talked to your partner about these issues, you would no longer need to talk to me about them.

—adrianajaec

Reboot Films / Via popkey.co

Engaging in hardcore PDA.

Making out in public around people is just unnecessary, people. Sharing a kiss or holding hands is understandable. But rubbing your hands all over each other, and full face-locked makeouts are just so over the top.

—bekahb4f57fd349

NBC / Via popkey.co

Calling your partner psycho (even if you think it's endearing) when you think they're acting overly jealous or possessive.

Calling your partner a "psycho" is not cute, nor is it funny. I see girls tag their girlfriends/boyfriends in posts about being overly jealous/possessive and think it’s endearing. It’s so unhealthy to glorify those actions or say that people who take part in them are ~psychotic~. Trust your partner, and treat them with respect, instead of glorifying unhealthy relationship dynamics and using improper terminology.

—jessicas239

Netflix / Via tenor.com

And lastly, doing anything to please one another, including changing your personality or looks.

I have friends who are willing to change their looks or habits (that aren’t bad in any way, shape, or form) just to please their significant other! This frustrates me so much because relationships should be about accepting the other person for who they are, not how you think they should be.

—chloew443a6afaf

Netflix / Via tenor.com

Responses have been edited for length and clarity.

The Better Together conference at Melbourne Town Hall on Friday 12 January.

The Equality Project / Via Twitter: @EqualityProj_au

In August 1975, Jamie Gardiner, then 27, turned up to Australia’s first National Homosexual Conference at Melbourne University.

At the time, such a thing was a radical endeavour: Sex between men was still a crime in every state and territory. It was one month before South Australia would become the first state to decriminalise in September 1975.

But undeterred by the immense legislative and social barriers of the time, organisers had placed a sign at the entrance.

It read: “This conference is homosexual territory. There is no room for hatred of our lifestyles. We are here as blatant homosexuals. In a comfortably aggressive manner, we declare ourselves a good thing.”

On Friday morning last week, Gardiner stood in front of around 600 people and repeated those words, as he ceremonially handed over the reins to another national conference: this time, to a community that is significantly broader, and now has a large number of political wins under its belt.

The 1975 conference program.

Lane Sainty / BuzzFeed

The Better Together conference, held over Friday and Saturday, was conceived by Melbourne man and long-time advocate Jason Tuazon-McCheyne and run by the organisation he founded, the Equality Project, with a committee of volunteers.

The point, Tuazon-McCheyne said as he opened the conference, was to bring together the many and varied people and groups under the LGBTIQ umbrella, so they could “get where we need to be faster”. Marriage equality, he argued, had taken too long.

People from each letter of the LGBTIQ acronym (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, and queer) were represented, with a focus on intersecting minorities as well. Sessions included a panel of queer Muslims, Aboriginal perspectives on being LGBTIQ, stories from rural and regional areas, workshops on bisexual visibility, discussions on disability, families, faith, and several more.

Extra chairs had to be scavenged for the people who packed into one popular session, titled simply "Post Marriage Equality Discussion".

Asked if marriage would have been even mentioned at the 1975 conference, Gardiner said, firmly, "No, I don't think so."

The discussion was, at first, a recap of the postal survey campaign and the elation of victory – perhaps best illustrated by union campaigner Wil Stracke yelling joyously "I'm getting married!" – but evolved into a discussion about missteps, and where the movement should go.

Anna Brown, cochair of the Equality Campaign and director of legal advocacy at the Human Rights Law Centre, said the sheer number of people who mobilised for marriage equality gave her hope, but there was more to do (for instance, transgender birth certificate laws) and the community could not risk complacency.

"The Australian Christian Lobby has – just as we've gotten more resources, we're more sophisticated, we've got fantastic digital infrastructure, so have they," she said.

Brown said there were internal conversations happening now about what the Equality Campaign would do next, and if it would play a role in future LGBTIQ reforms.

"I think it's critical we harness the momentum – and this conference is doing exactly that – and work out how we're going to continue forward and leverage all that goodwill and all of the amazing work that so many people did over the past few months and years," she said.

"As a community, and I personally feel like we have a deep moral obligation to particularly address the trans community who were the collateral damage of this campaign."

The discussion became moderately heated at points, as audience members chimed in with questions and comments. Some points of division in how the marriage campaign had played out rose to the surface, with questions about whether transgender people had been "thrown under the bus", and about the racist undertones in commentary suggesting immigrants were responsible for a low "yes" vote in parts of Western Sydney, which left some LGBTIQ people of colour feeling blamed and demonised.

Other parts had a lighter touch on the consequences of marriage equality. Adam Knobel, the digital campaign director for the "yes" campaign, said he had recently attended a wedding with his partner of 11 years.

"After the seventh time we were asked 'When are you getting married?' he lovingly pulled me in and whispered in my ear, 'This is your fucking fault,'" Knobel said, laughing.

Drag queen Dolly Diamond performs at the Better Together conference.

Lane Sainty / BuzzFeed

At another session, representatives from American organisations Stonewall, GLAAD, and the Human Rights Campaign spoke about how to create a national LGBTIQ advocacy organisation – a proposal put to the conference by long-time advocate Rodney Croome.

Croome argued in the proposal that a national organisation is essential to move forward LGBTIQ rights and equality at a national level.

"Law and policy reform at a national level has lagged behind the states and territories and behind comparable countries. A national organisation will help bring national law and policymaking up-to-date," he wrote.

He suggested the organisation should be democratic and consultative, have mechanisms to ensure minorities within the LGBTIQ minority are adequately represented, and be politically independent.

The proposal wasn’t formally discussed at the conference, but many mused on the merits, or otherwise, of such an idea between sessions. Some believe it's a good solution to ensure the infrastructure and efforts poured into marriage equality are not lost, while others fear it may lead to further marginalisation of smaller groups in the community.

Gardiner, a veteran of LGBTIQ community politics and reform, is not a proponent of a national organisation – at least not yet. He thinks the best that could come out of the conference is the “real possibility” of developing a model of collaboration and awareness of the fact that there are “many battles, many missions still to be accomplished”.

“Out of this could well grow some form of national organisation. That I think would be good and possible. But what I think is not good and almost certainly not possible is some form of a national organisation,” he said, stressing the “a”.

“There’s a difference. I don’t think we’re ready for that. And I think working on being better together is itself a challenging task.”

That precise challenge was highlighted in several sessions – perhaps most starkly at a talk given by Tony Briffa, who is intersex and the deputy mayor of Hobsons Bay.

Intersex people are born with sex characteristics that do not align with medical or social norms of male or female bodies. There are over 40 known types of intersex variations.

As Briffa explained, the inclusion of intersex in the LGBTIQ community can be both a blessing and a curse. Intersex people and their priorities are widely misunderstood and the "I" should be added to the acronym with intent and care, not as an impractical gesture of inclusivity, he said.

Tony Briffa speaks about the intersex community at the Better Together conference.

Lane Sainty / BuzzFeed News

"Are we better together? The answer is yes, but often we aren't," Briffa said. "I know that LGBT activists are well meaning and want to be inclusive and support us, [but] we have inadvertently been misrepresented and that has affected us adversely.

"A number of organisation receive government LGBTIQ funding to provide services for intersex communities as well, but they don't."

Intersex people at the conference asked those present to back their priority issue: ending non-therapeutic “corrective” surgeries on infants born with genital variations that do not conform with medical norms of male and female bodies.

Other discussions focused on how existing LGBTIQ organisations do not sufficiently cater for minorities within the community.

“Inclusion is the most overused word in Australia right now,” Aboriginal woman and lesbian Esther Montgomery, who hails from the Pilbara in Western Australia, told the room.

Montgomery argued that Aboriginal LGBTIQ people are in crisis, and desperately need white-led LGBTIQ organisations to include "the mob", not just a handful of Aboriginal people, in their leadership roles and decision making.

She also called for Aboriginal organisations to be more open to the needs of LGBTI people in their own community.

At the end of the conference, people reported back from a number of caucus sessions, some with action points, others with areas of focus. Bisexual people asked for a focus on mental health, noting that there was evidence that bisexual people fare worse than heterosexual, gay, and lesbian peers on mental health.

The transgender caucus determined it would create a centralised space for work being done by various groups and people across Australia, running the effort through the Equality Project. Michelle Sheppard implored the wider LGBTIQ community to assist in the effort, saying transgender people had “stood there with you” but now need help, resources, and money.

The disability caucus called for a working group to be established that would liaise with organisations such as the National Disability Insurance Scheme to advise on LGBTIQ issues and needs.

The scope of the conference was wide, covering issues far beyond the singular focus of the last six months: marriage equality.

The first conference in 1975, Gardiner told the hundreds gathered at Melbourne Town Hall on Friday, was “much narrower, but it was just as revolutionary”.

“It was as if it were a trickle that became the tributary that became the large river that you are now creating and will navigate in the future,” he said.

Darren Criss as Andrew Cunanan in The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story.

Pari Dukovic / FX

These are boom times for scandal recycling. From the skating world’s “bad girl” Tonya Harding to the “spoiled” parricidal Menendez brothers, it appears as if every infamous figure previously paraded across cable news and tabloids is being reconsidered and repackaged as higher-brow entertainment. Television auteur Ryan Murphy helped inaugurate this wave of prestige scandalmongering as one of the producers of 2016’s Emmy award–winning series The People v. O.J. Simpson. And since then, the visionary writer, director, and showrunner has set up a factory-like production system — “the House of Murphy” — that brings together different writers, producers, and directors to churn out these stories through the anthology series American Crime Story and Feud.

Murphy clearly has a savvy eye for picking the most sensational stories, with built-in audience recognition, for his revisitations. Forthcoming installments of the shows promise to delve into Princess Diana and Monica Lewinsky. Just the announcement that Gianni Versace’s murder would be the subject of American Crime Story became an event; the unveiling of the flamboyantly styled cast pictures — with Penélope Cruz as Donatella Versace and Ricky Martin as Versace’s partner — garnered the cover of Entertainment Weekly. The cast even presented an award at the Golden Globes.

Dramatic cast photos of Édgar Ramírez as Gianni Versace, Ricky Martin as Antonio D'Amico, and Penélope Cruz as Donatella Versace.

Pari Dukovic / FX

But The Assassination of Gianni Versace, written by executive producer Tom Rob Smith, makes clear that promising casting, sumptuous visuals, and seemingly rich source material still can’t ensure compelling television. In order for these kinds of series to work, there needs to be some new interpretation or information brought to light that will create the kind of dramatic tension — or renewed stakes — necessary for revisiting an old story. For instance, in last year’s retelling of the Simpson saga, written by Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski, the “trial of the century” was reimagined as a compelling tale about the very creation of stories in the judicial system and the media, and about the way America’s racial fantasies in particular influenced the public’s interpretations of the trial narratives and outcome.

This built-in device of a trial as a machine for meaning-making helped make the show. But last year’s Feud: Bette and Joan didn’t rise to the same level; the House of Murphy instead turned a mythical rivalry into an ultimately pat morality play about misogyny. Now, the story of Gianni Versace’s murder by Andrew Cunanan is similarly being mined for larger stakes, and framed as a kind of history lesson about anti-gay prejudice in the ‘90s. “The more I had read about it, the more I was startled by the fact that Cunanan really was only allowed to get away with it because of homophobia,” Murphy explained in an interview with EW. “I think it's really important to shine the light on the world FBI's largest failed manhunt and why that happened," executive producer Nina Jacobson told TV Guide; in an interview with Variety, she referenced “the neglect and the isolation and the ‘otherness’ in the way the police handled the deaths of gay men.”

But the police manhunt isn’t, in fact, a major or dramatic plotline throughout the eight episodes made available in advance, and despite the series’ title (and promotional campaign), Versace (played by Édgar Ramírez) — and his sister (Cruz) and partner (Martin) — are relatively minor characters in the show. The program’s most riveting presence, and the only major character across all the episodes, is Andrew Cunanan.

Criss plays an introspective Cunanan.

Jeff Daly / FX

Darren Criss’s portrait of Cunanan, a queer antihero who became the object of intense public fantasy as one of the first openly gay serial killers, is often mesmerizing and always convincing. And Cunanan’s 1997 killing spree — which culminated with his seemingly random murder of Versace — certainly seems like a great vehicle for a television drama. The FBI manhunt occurred at the height of the 24-hour cable news cycle, and the coverage created a cascade of tabloid speculation. His spree started with people he was close to, with the grisly murders of a former navy officer friend, Jeffrey Trail, and David Madson, a former boyfriend. His next victim was Lee Miglin, a married millionaire Chicago real estate developer, whom it was speculated he might have met earlier through closeted gay circles. After killing a cemetery worker for a new car, he drove to Miami where he shot Versace, which created the publicity explosion that led to his infamy.

So much of Cunanan’s motives remained — and remain — shrouded in mystery, and in many ways, the gaps in his story and the manner in which they were filled in by the media after Versace’s murder is itself a compelling tale of sensationally phobic fantasies that the show could have addressed. For instance, rumors flew that Cunanan was an HIV-positive revenge killer; that he was obsessed with S&M fantasies of Tom Cruise and wanted to murder Nicole Kidman; that he had “killed for fame,” or, as one 20/20 documentary put it at the time, that he was “dying to be famous.”

Yet given how little is known about the real Cunanan — not to mention the litigiously secretive Versace family — The Assassination of Gianni Versace is, instead, awkwardly shaped around a vacuum of missing information into a respectable, unsurprising tale about gay politics. “We have these tiny points of truth, and you try to connect the tissue between them, but I would never use the term ’embellish,'” Smith explained about the challenge of filling in blanks. The show takes an omniscient perspective and fills in gaps by reducing Cunanan’s motivations to the simplest answers, and its gay characters — Cunanan’s victims — into sometimes touching but unoriginal stories about the closet.

As the Hollywood Reporter notes in its review, the show “is mostly Cunanan's story and that's unsettling, because the archetype of the duplicitous, code-switching gay killer has long been one of Hollywood's most negative depictions.” The series could have explored that stereotype itself, and how it came to guide the American public’s understanding of a mysterious and complicated figure. But in The Assassination of Gianni Versace, Cunanan’s own motivations never move beyond the caricatures floated in the ‘90s. The series seems determined to disavow its own fascination with him and imbue a potentially random murder — the titular “assassination” — with larger meaning. In doing so, it misses the chance to do something that might have been more interesting, and more dramatically effective: to look back from our contemporary perspective to parse the way that fantasy and fact melded to create the myth of Andrew Cunanan.

Criss as Cunanan, just before the titular murder in The Assassination of Gianni Versace.

Jeff Daly / FX

Despite being the show’s main character, the writers decided against having Cunanan’s name in the title because, they told Variety, it would have been “elevating him to a place we didn’t want to put him.” This attitude seemingly also affected the show’s writing, which purports to tell at least four stories through Cunanan’s murders: about the police manhunt, about the lives of Cunanan and Versace, and about the other victims. But in following so many threads, none of them are fully developed. The season starts with Versace’s murder, and works backward to show the previous murders, culminating with Cunanan’s backstory and the aftermath of the Versace murder. The episodes themselves hop around in time as well, requiring constant date reminders to keep the chronology straight.

The series opens in grand and promising fashion, with the only episode directed by Murphy, showing Versace’s world of splendor and opulence at his landmark mansion, which is contrasted with Cunanan’s shabby hotel. Criss’s creepy but lively performance is immediately captivating, and the episode sets up a potentially interesting tension in portraying Versace and Cunanan as two gay aesthetes with a talent for self-invention. Moving back in time, Cunanan’s supposed, never substantiated meeting with Versace in 1990 is presented as complete fact, and is used to give some context to Versace’s background and Cunanan’s tendency toward flamboyant embellishment.

Ramírez as Versace at his home estate (top) and Criss as Cunanan at a shabby hotel.

Jeff Daly / FX

From there, the episode moves to the police investigation, which — rather than generating suspense or showing how the portrait of Cunanan was itself filtered through the media and law enforcement — instead comes across as a narrative teaching tool for the ways anti-gay prejudice and ignorance manifested in the ‘90s. Thus, the straight officers are confused that Versace had an open relationship with his partner, who brought other men, sometimes escorts, into their bed. This isn’t used to create a mystery — we already know Cunanan is the killer — but as part of the ongoing theme of the othering of gay men and their sexuality, which is pursued even when it lacks dramatic stakes or seems irrelevant to the story.

In the subsequent episodes, the victims’ lives are turned into saintly stories about the closet or gay identity. Jeffrey Trail is depicted as dealing with the Navy’s “don’t ask don’t tell” policies, a storyline paralleled by Versace’s public revelation of his sexuality, and architect David Madson is shown coming out to his father. Some of the Trail scenes are vivid and graphic depictions of the paranoia and panic prompted by the closet, but they seem extraneous to the larger story. Similarly, after Lee Miglin’s murder, his wife Marilyn, an HSN cosmetics diva (brilliantly played by Judith Light) successfully prevents the police from leaking information that Miglin might have been sexually involved with Cunanan. The vignette is well performed and directed, but adds little to the drama of the manhunt.

The lack of mystery might have been leavened by wider insights or witty writing. But the characters’ conversations often serve as unoriginal exposition of motives that might have been better hinted at. “You loved him, but he figured you out in the end. He finally saw the real you, and you killed him for it,” Madson tells Cunanan, about why he murdered Jeff Trail. In one of Cunanan’s dreams, seemingly meant to illustrate his feelings about Versace, he says to the designer that despite Versace’s fame and money, the only difference between them is that Versace got lucky. “That’s not the only difference,” Versace replies. “I’m loved.” With this kind of pat dialogue, the show often reduces the most complex and mysterious aspects of its story to the most simplistic answers.

In contrast, during a moment when David Madson is trying to run away from Cunanan before being shot, the scene suddenly becomes a fantasy sequence in which Madson is back in the safety of his father’s home. There is a touching quality to that moment, and it suggests that if the show had leaned into that kind of acknowledged fantasy more — not using a literal dream to fill in information gaps, but to emphasize the dreamlike qualities of the story itself — it might have better matched a story for which so much is unknown.

Undoubtedly, some of the strongest writing comes at the end, when the series moves to Cunanan’s own backstory and we see him outside the context of his victims or the police investigation. Episodes that depict the gay world Cunanan moved in in La Jolla, California, are an interesting counterpoint to the usual depictions of gay men in New York or San Francisco.

Cunanan's "Most Likely to be Remembered" yearbook photo, seen here with a handwritten note from a fellow student.

AP Photo

In a scene from his high school years, one repeated in books and reports about his story, he sashays into a party in a red leather jumpsuit dancing to “Whip it!” He befriends an older woman supervising the party. “Can I tell you a secret?” she asks. “I’m an imposter.” He replies, “all the best people are,” demonstrating a savvy self-knowledge. There is finally an energy to the scene, freed from didactic instruction.

In the same episode, he takes the famous yearbook picture — reproduced in every tabloid — in which his open shirt reveals toned abs (he was voted “Most Likely to be Remembered”). It also shows his yearbook caption, "Après moi, le déluge,” (“after me, the flood”), a statement that, in real life, was retrospectively imbued with meaning about Cunanan’s self-destructiveness by a media and public hungry for narratives.

Perhaps part of the problem is that the show’s source material comes from that same hungry ‘90s media. The script is based on Maureen Orth’s 1999 book, Vulgar Favors: Andrew Cunanan, Gianni Versace, and the Largest Failed Manhunt in U.S. History, an account criticized even at the time for its lack of new insight or information, and for Orth’s own sensationalizing portrayal of the gay world Cunanan moved in, particularly the role of drugs and S&M. Much of the meaning of her reporting was better contextualized and dramatized in queer author Gary Indiana’s widely praised Three Month Fever, published the same year.

In his study of Cunanan, Indiana critiques how his life was transformed “from the somewhat poignant and depressing but fairly ordinary thing it was into a narrative overripe with tabloid evil.” And Murphy’s series might have been stronger if it had followed suit, starting with Cunanan and showing how he was reduced to that narrative. Paradoxically, though Cunanan was — as the show points out — uncomfortable about his racial identity as half Filipino and his lower-middle-class standing, he seemed by all accounts publicly untroubled by his queerness, despite growing up in the ‘70s and ‘80s. He doesn't easily fit into the larger moral lesson the series seems determined to teach, but that interesting dissonance is never fully explored.

Jacobson recently told EW that the subjects of the American Crime Story franchise must always have larger implications: “What we’re interested in is what makes this an American crime, a crime America is guilty of — not just the characters we’re exploring.” But in this case, the creators have missed their target, turning a complex narrative and character into an oversimplified vehicle for telling their viewers something most might already know. There is none of the groundbreaking genre mixing and inventive storytelling characteristic of Murphy’s greatest work.

"The most ironic thing of all," House of Murphy writer Alexis Martin Woodall said of Cunanan in an interview, "is that he wanted to be remembered and nobody remembers who he was. Everybody thinks fame is the answer and for most people, fame is totally destructive." But it’s more likely that this show will renew the wave of fascination that first turned Cunanan into the subject of books, movies, and documentaries. Perhaps it was an understandable caution of avoiding toxic stereotypes (given the dearth of thoughtful queer representation on TV), or a reluctance to romanticize a murderer, that steered the show’s writing toward a safe and respectable route. But if anything, Cunanan’s is a queer and cautionary tale about the way fame often doesn’t follow conventional morality or standards of good and evil. For that matter, neither does good television. ●

Justin Sullivan / Getty Images

Aetna has agreed to pay $17 million to settle a federal class-action lawsuit after the health insurance company mailed out envelopes that accidentally revealed thousands of patients’ HIV status.

The settlement, announced Wednesday, concerns a mass mailing that Aetna sent to patients in the summer of 2017. The lawsuit alleged that Aetna committed a privacy breach by giving its law firm and a mail vendor the names and confidential health information of 13,487 customers who’d been prescribed HIV medications. (By settling, Aetna is not admitting to wrongdoing.)

Nearly 12,000 of those people then received large-windowed envelopes that, even when unopened, showed that they were prescribed HIV medications, according to the lawsuit. These patients are entitled to receive at least $500 each under the settlement.

An additional 1,600 or so patients did not have their HIV status revealed in the mail, but Aetna still improperly shared their names, the lawsuit alleged. That group of people stands to receive $75 each under the settlement.

The breach affected patients who were both taking treatments for HIV and medication to prevent it, according to the lawsuit, which was filed in August in US District Court for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania. In some cases, the mass mailing caused patients to be kicked out of their homes or damaged their relationships with friends, relatives, and neighbors, the plaintiffs alleged.

In this redacted letter sent to an Aetna member, the words "filling prescriptions for HIV" are visible.

Courtesy / The Legal Action Center and the AIDS Law Project of Pennsylvania / Via lac.org

The settlement “sends a really strong message to people living with or at risk of HIV that their privacy is valued and those who violate privacy laws will pay a steep price,” Sally Friedman, an attorney at the Legal Action Center, one of the groups behind the lawsuit, told BuzzFeed News.

Overall, the lawsuit’s plaintiffs spanned 27 states and Washington, DC.

The lead plaintiff — an anonymous man taking the HIV prevention medication known as PrEP — said in a press release, “HIV still has a negative stigma associated with it, and I am pleased that this encouraging agreement with Aetna shows that HIV-related information warrants special care.”

The lawsuit alleged that Aetna violated both the federal patient privacy law, the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), and several state laws explicitly designed to protect the privacy of HIV patients.

In a statement, an Aetna spokesperson said that the company was taking steps to prevent future privacy breaches.

“Through our outreach efforts, immediate relief program, and this settlement we have worked to address the potential impact to members following this unfortunate incident,” the spokesperson said. “In addition, we are implementing measures designed to ensure something like this does not happen again as part of our commitment to best practices in protecting sensitive health information.”

LINK: Windowed Envelopes Accidentally Revealed That Patients Had HIV

The printing company has apologized and launched an investigation.

A gay couple are suing a printing company for sending them anti-LGBT, religious pamphlets instead of the wedding programs they ordered.

Wigdor LLP

In a lawsuit filed Thursday in Massachusetts, Stephen Heasley and Andrew Borg said they ordered 100 programs for their Sept. 23, 2017, wedding in Pennsylvania from Vistaprint, for which they paid almost $80.

Wigdor LLP

But when they opened the delivery the day before their wedding, they were horrified to find they'd been sent 80 copies of a pamphlet entitled "Understanding Temptation: Fight the good fight of the faith."

Wigdor LLP

The pamphlets warned that Satan "entices your flesh with evil desires" and warned the readers to "not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers."

“The supreme tempter is Satan who uses our weaknesses to lead us into sin. You must understand where temptations come from if you desire to change the way you live," the pamphlet read.

Lawyers for the couple, who live in Australia, said they were "emotionally devastated" by what they said was "intimidating and discriminatory" conduct by the Massachusetts-based company. The men also had to quickly arrange for new programs to be printed.

The company said it was conducting a full investigation to determine how and why the couple were sent the pamphlets.

Vistaprint said the religious materials were printed for one customer but incorrectly sent to the grooms-to-be by a third-party fulfiller.

"We, and our partner, are committed to understanding how and why this happened," the Vistaprint executives said. "If we determine that any individual played a deliberate role in this mix-up, we will take strong action."

The company said it was also reaching out to the couple to apologize and "establish a dialogue" to support marriage equality.

But the couple's attorneys say they are entitled to unspecified damages for the mental distress and anguish they endured.

"This took a great deal of joy out of what should have been the greatest day of our clients’ lives," attorney Michael J. Willemin said. "They want to make sure that this story is told and that people know what happened to them.”

Wigdor LLP

Getty Images

The UK's Civil Aviation Authority has changed its rules to allow people with HIV to become commercial airline pilots after BuzzFeed News revealed how a man from Glasgow had been denied the chance to take up a training position with EasyJet because of his HIV status.

Equality campaigners were celebrating the historic victory following the announcement of the rule change on Thursday morning by Andrew Haines, chief executive of the CAA. The move was confirmed in the House of Commons by transport secretary Chris Grayling.

Last month, BuzzFeed News told the story of a man, named as Anthony, who said he had been denied his childhood dream of becoming an airline pilot because of what he said was HIV discrimination by the aviation authorities.

Previously, the CAA had told Anthony that it was bound to follow the rules laid down by the European regulator, the European Aviation Safety Authority (EASA), which meant that in order for people with HIV to become pilots they had to have a medical certificate with an addition called an "operational multi-crew limitation".

But the only way to obtain that would be to already have a commercial flying licence – blocking anyone already with HIV from entering the profession, and meaning that piloting was the only profession outside the armed services that barred HIV-positive people.

But when BuzzFeed News contacted EASA, the regulator insisted the CAA was in fact able to deviate from those rules.

Following the story, the CAA came under intense pressure to change the policy. Nicola Sturgeon, Scotland's first minister, warned that it could be in breach of equality legislation, and Lilian Greenwood, chair of the Commons transport select committee, wrote to the transport secretary about Anthony's case. He was also supported by HIV Scotland.

John Moore / Getty Images

Anthony told BuzzFeed News on Thursday: "I am totally overwhelmed. I never expected this to happen so quickly. I'm grateful that it's happened and very conscious of the fact that it's not just me, it's anyone with HIV that can now become a pilot. It's monumental.

"It's a huge change and i just hope that it triggers action not just in the UK but in the rest of Europe. Anyone who has felt restricted by the condition, who's in my situation, can now follow their dreams."

Philippe Huguen / AFP / Getty Images

He added: "It means that I can now focus on becoming a pilot. It was the last remaining barrier that has now been removed, so I'm going to start discussions as to how I can take up my place with EasyJet and start as soon as possible. This change means I can now realise my dreams."

On Twitter, he thanked the campaigners who had backed his case.

Nathan Sparling, head of policy and campaigning for HIV Scotland, told BuzzFeed News: "This is a massive win for people living with HIV who want to become pilots. It is because Anthony came forward with his story that the CAA is now taking a more sensible and realistic approach.

"We welcome the move, and look forward to working with everyone concerned to ensure that people living with HIV who want to become pilots can pursue their dreams."

In his statement announcing that people with HIV could now train as airline pilots, CAA chief executive Haines explained that the regulator has "made representations to EASA ... and asked them to undertake the necessary rulemaking activity and associated research without delay, that we hope will lead to a permanent change to the current regulations".

But in the meantime, he added, "the CAA will issue initial Class 1 Medical certificates with a restriction to multi-pilot operations to applicants wishing to become commercial pilots, subject to the applicants passing their Class 1 Medical assessment".

Here is the CAA's statement in full:

The UK Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) is committed to being one of the most progressive aviation authorities in the world. We have often led aviation regulatory changes that have enabled pilots with medical conditions to keep flying, most recently in our ground-breaking work on insulin-treated diabetes. We have also been responsible for writing international guidelines on pilots living with HIV and have been promoting the need for changes to the current regulations regarding the restrictions applicable to pilots with certain medical conditions, including HIV.

In relation to HIV, we have made representations to EASA, which is the governing body responsible for medical standards, and asked them to undertake the necessary rulemaking activity and associated research without delay, that we hope will lead to a permanent change to the current regulations.

We recognise that this research will take time and we will continue to offer our full support to this work in any way we can. In the meantime, the CAA will issue initial Class 1 Medical certificates with a restriction to multi-pilot operations to applicants wishing to become commercial pilots, subject to the applicants passing their Class 1 Medical assessment.

A music video for the rap song "Boss Life" released this week has ignited backlash over homophobic lyrics by the rapper Offset, a member of Migos.

Via youtube.com

In the song, which was released in December, Offset raps, "40k spent on a private Lear / 60k solitaire / I cannot vibe with queers."

Offset, of Migos, arrives at the US premiere of "Bright" at the Regency Village Theatre Dec. 13, 2017, in Los Angeles.

Jordan Strauss / AP

The rapper took to Instagram to apologize for the lyrics, including a screenshot of the definition of "queer."

Via Instagram: @offsetyrn

In the caption, he wrote, "When I wrote that I was thinking of words that could rhyme with the others (here, lear, solitaire, bear) and I saw this definition about her having a queer feeling she was being watched and it fit what I was thinking about a stalker creepy paparazzi situation."

He closed with "I M S O R R Y I A P O L O G I Z E I’m offended I offended anybody." It appears that he disabled comments for the post.

He also wrote a statement on his Instagram story:

He wrote:

I apologize to anybody I offended by the word "queer" I was not referring to sexuality I was referring to my reality of not hanging around that wanna post me and stalk me sorry it was taken as the wrong content only God can judge I don't.

A lot of people on Twitter weren't pleased with the lyrics or the apology, but many also blasted what they said was an overreaction on social media.

The musician MNEK weighed in.

Some people tried to defend Offset or explain away his remarks.

This isn't the first time Offset's homophobic remarks have caused outrage.

In a February interview with Rolling Stone, he said that rapper iLoveMakonnen received support for coming out because "the world is fucked up." Fellow Migos member Takeoff also said of support for Makonnen, "That's not right." They later apologized.

The Equality Project / Via Twitter: @EqualityProj_au

Esther Montgomery, a 54-year-old Mardudhunera woman and lesbian, had a message for the 600 people attending a national LGBTI conference in Melbourne last week.

"Aboriginal history has to be acknowledged by LGBTI people," she said. "You can’t escape from it."

She recalled to the room a conversation she'd had with a friend, Roger McKay, at the Sydney Mardi Gras parade in 1982.

"I remember standing there in Oxford Street with Roger McKay, bless his heart, he’s now deceased, he was the first Aboriginal person to walk with the [flag] of Aboriginal Australia down Oxford Street," she said.

According to the book Gay in the '80s, McKay was determined to make the point that Oxford Street was on Aboriginal land.

"The comment he made at the time was ‘I don’t know where these people think Oxford Street is’," Montgomery said. "It’s in Australia, on Aboriginal land, on Gadigal land."

Montgomery was one of a number of Aboriginal LGBTI people who attended the Better Together conference last week, where a broad range of issues and LGBTIQ communities were brought to the fore.

Amid sessions on topics such as queer Muslims, disability, rural and regional areas, bisexual visibility, faith and families, Montgomery presented a list of priorities from the Aboriginal caucus at the conference. It included funding for Aboriginal specific LGBTI organisations, for LGBTI groups to be "fair dinkum" about including Aboriginal people in their organisations and, as she outlined with McKay's story, more acknowledgment of history.

Montgomery is from Karratha in WA's Pilbara, but now lives in the small town of Southern Cross about 370km east of Perth. She told BuzzFeed News she wants Aboriginal LGBTI people to have a conference of their own.

"I’m currently trying to organise what will be the first national Aboriginal LGBTI gathering, to sit wholly and solely by ourselves, not come under the umbrella of any organisation," Montgomery told BuzzFeed News.

"The biggest issue is funding ... organising a gathering, or a conference, is not easy today."

Montgomery said it is essential that Aboriginal LGBTI groups and people come together and discuss what she sees as the most pressing issue for her community: mental health and suicide.

"The point for me, as an Aboriginal woman in Australia, there are so many Aboriginal LGBTI people are suffering, really suffering," she said.

"We have a lot of Aboriginal men and women out there, and young people. It’s not just about the young people — in Western Australia we had two 70-year-olds come out. Now can you imagine coming out at 70? Seriously?

"I can’t imagine, because I’ve always been out. I’ve been a lesbian since high school, at Gosnells High School. I was 13 years of age ... I’ve been out for a long long, long time. I’ve heard it all, I’ve seen it all, and we have a massive issue with mental illness."

Indigenous advocate and gay man Casey Conway, who spoke at Better Together on a panel about inclusion in sport, told BuzzFeed News a conference focused on Aboriginal LGBTI people is "definitely needed".

"In all health indicators the Indigenous community are way behind, and when you factor in sexuality and gender diversity it's even worse," he said.

Conway is on the advisory board of Black Rainbow, an organisation run by and for Indigenous LGBTIQ people, which Conway says is sorely lacking in funds. One of its priorities is trying to get some research done on Aboriginal LGBTIQ mental health and suicide.

Led by CEO Dameyon Bonson, the organisation is agitating for such data to be collected via its Contagion of Love project, which also provides micro-grants and phone credit to Aboriginal LGBTIQ people.

"Data’s one of the most important things when it comes to sitting around the table and talking about what to change," Conway said.

Montgomery agreed. "We need to get the data," she said. "We need research." She stressed it needed to be collected by people who understand how to engage with remote communities and Aboriginal elders.

"It will not work, you will not get the data, if you don’t go out to remote communities," she said. "And you can’t whiz in there and have this city attitude of, 'Well, I’m from Melbourne and I want to talk to you about LGBTI' ... you can’t have that city slicker attitude. It doesn’t work in remote areas. You’ve got to go in, humble yourself, sit down with the old people. Don't go 'LGBTI', go 'lesbian'. Tell them what a lesbian woman is."

Montgomery also said Aboriginal organisations must be better at including LGBTI people from their own communities.

Earlier this week, amid heated debate on whether the date of Australia Day should change, Conway tweeted that he wished the LGBTI community was more aware of "how awful how Australia Day is for us Indigenous people".

Though the two communities have been compared – for instance, the postal survey on marriage equality to the 1967 referendum to count Aboriginal people in the census – Conway stressed to BuzzFeed News that the experiences are very different.

"I was at an event where one of the people from the 'yes' campaign stood up in front of a whole group of our community and said the LGBTI community is the most victimised community in Australia," Conway said.

"I nearly fell off my chair. I was so upset and so angry that a gay white man was saying these things, because it’s simply not true."

"It’s one of those things where we want to be a part of the LGBTI community and also the Indigenous community, and sometimes we’re kind of torn because we might have to choose between the two at times," he said.

"That’s a struggle for my personal experience and other LGBTI people I know who are Indigenous."

Conway hopes that the LGBTI community will swing in behind Indigenous activists in solidarity with movements such as those agitating to change the date of Australia Day, and implement the Uluru Statement From The Heart.

"Racism is very much alive in the LGBTI community," he said.

"We often hear in our community that homophobia kills, and that racism can kill. What about people who face racism and homophobia? I say to my friends, you get called a faggot, I get called a black faggot."

It’s not fanfiction unless their tongues battle for dominance.

AND BEFORE YOU GET MAD, fanfiction is in many ways leaps and bounds ahead of, say, the way sex is portrayed in some TV shows and movies. I've read some incredible fic that was realistic AND hot, so I'm not a naysayer. THAT SAID, there are a lot of time-honored and cringey tropes that pop up time and again, AND I WANT TO LAUGH ABOUT THEM.

No one ever needs lube and when they do, they use a RIDICULOUS replacement for it.

Spit. Lotion that's conveniently on the bedside table right when it's time to do the do. Sometimes even precum, since apparently THAT'S ENOUGH TO GET THINGS GOING. And that's only the "normal" shit — fic authors get hella creative. Like, pizza-grease-up-your-butt creative.

—benjamint470c5e8f3

Fx / Via buzzfeed.com

People always forget to use condoms because they're too turned on and not thinking straight. But no worries; there are never any consequences!!

STOP EROTICIZING BEING TOO HORNY TO PRACTICE SAFE SEX.

—queergirl614

WE tv / Via giphy.com

Tongues "battling for dominance." Enough said.

Are the tongues clashing together like swords?

—emilyb42b9cf39b

dallasisbroke / RedBubble / Via redbubble.com

There is no normal everyday sex. Everyone is always either ravaging someone or tenderly making love.

It seems festive for sex to be such an EVENT all the time, but oh my god isn't it exhausting??? Where's the goofy sex? Where's the normal everyday get in, get out sex? Sometimes you just gotta get off without all the emotional fanfare!

—katyk478cb7069

meladoodle.com

And there's no...bad sex. Ever.

Fic is fantasy fulfillment, YES, but if it's not PWP and you're actually tryna show some relationship development, maybe you should show some bad and awkward sex!!!

—Sherri Maine, Facebook

Twitter: @therealkimj

~Losing virginity~ is made into a really big romantic deal.

More often than not, one or both characters having sex for the first time is a HUGE CLIMAX (lol) of the plot, which wouldn't be such a big deal if First Time Ever Sex wasn't treated as inherently more romantic and special than Sex When You've Had Sex Before. VIRGINITY IS A CONSTRUCT, PEOPLE.

—mhbrown99q

FOX / Via glee.wikia.com

And the hymen is treated like this ~magical virginity seal~ that breaks and causes a lot of bleeding, when THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.

Why's that a plot point in the first place, dude?

—mhbrown99q

truTV / Via youtube.com

Virgins always transform from demure innocents to total sex gods IMMEDIATELY.

Because are you really a worthy protagonist if you don't have an immediate natural knack for boning?

—josephineniennak

Nickelodeon / Via gifimage.net

People with vaginas get off from penetration alone all the time, which...lol.

*whispers* Remember the clitoris.

—christinar4fd2df5ca

Twitter: @imteddybless

A lot of the time, the sex positions described are PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

Like, two people go at it doggy style, but somehow manage to get some nipple licking and kissing in there. Are y'all fucking or playing X-rated Twister?

—spencyfrenchy

Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com

Vaginas basically ~gush~ when they get wet — and squirting is no big thang.

You can get turned on without your vag turning into a waterfall, people.

—lamelurker

@funkofficial / Via giphy.com

Annoying top/bottom stereotypes run rampant in slash fic, where the bottom is always the ~effeminent submissive one~ and the top is the ~macho alpha~.

Not saying that this kind of dynamic doesn't exist in queer culture, but c'mon, when you have to make a character act all OOC to fit a stereotype, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

—clemee

pizza-is-the-key.tumblr.com / Via me.me

If there's a dick involved, it's always gotta be BIG AND AMAZING, THE PRETTIEST DICK YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

More average dick representation 2k18!!!

—christinar4fd2df5ca

FOX / Via buzzfeed.com

Sex requires nooooo prep at all. None.

FOREPLAY, PEOPLE. In an ideal world, you wouldn't have to clean up down there, and you could shove a dick or toy right in without having to ease into it, but that's not how it works! I don't care if it ruins your spontaneous frantic sex trope, you've still gotta go through the motions!

—angelicface

Bravo / Via giphy.com

And when it comes to first-time anal, it always hurts a ~bit~ at first, but then everyone's just GOOD TO GO. Bring on the pounding!

—bertc4566359fa

taluluto.tumblr.com

Then, they're always fiiiiiine after they bottom/receive anal for the first time.

Like, a dude can take a huge schlong for the first time ever (AGAIN, USUALLY WITH NO LUBE), and be walking around sitting down with no discomfort the next day. UM, IN YOUR DREAMS?

—clemee

Killer Productions / Via buzzfeed.com

Penises are referred to as a number of horrible things, like their ~member~.

Also, the word "velvety" is FAR overused as a descriptor.

—allyrae

Fremantle Media / Via youtube.com

The vulva is referred to as “lips” or “folds.”

And it's always *shudder* slick.

—emileem3

LLCoolJVEVO / Via giphy.com

And it's pretty much always described as tasting SWEET or FRUITY.

If you're going down on a vulva, it's gonna taste like a vulva. DEAL WITH IT.

—kileyw2

imgur.com

Fingers are called ~digits~, because apparently saying someone's sticking their fingers into something is too weird.

~He inserted his digits into...~

—faithm40abe33e2

FOX / Via reactiongif.org

The phrase "thick ropes of cum" pops up more than is unnecessary, tbh.

WHAT KIND OF SPIDERMAN DICK ARE YOU HAVING SEX WITH?

—sheal3

Columbia Pictures / Via reddit.com

Same with penises "leaking precum."

Is this...supposed to be sexy? Why the fixation?

—Anonymous

Nickelodeon / Via giphy.com

Refractory periods DON'T EXIST. People with penises can just go all night long, over and over and over again.

Idc how horny and into each other you are. If you've got a penis, you have to let it charge before round two or three or six.

—jossminion

youtube.com / Via tenor.com

In fact, multiple orgasms are pretty much the norm. WHY AREN'T PEOPLE IN FANFIC SATISFIED WITH JUST ONE ORGASM SOMETIMES?

ALWAYS SUCH A PRODUCTION.

—jjennas1118

Netflix / Via me.me

Ditto to simultaneous orgasms.

PSA, bodies are different and you can't just magically reach orgasm at the same time as your partner, no matter how convenient it is for the scene.

—taythepianogirl

Comedy Central / Via buzzfeed.com

When someone with a vagina comes, their partner always "feels their walls clench around them" and it sends them both "over the edge."

Is there an instruction manual out there demanding that this is how orgasms MUST BE DESCRIBED?

—kitkat92814

Cartoon Network / Via giphy.com

When it comes to eating ass, THERE'S NO CLEANING UP FIRST. PEOPLE JUST DIVE RIGHT IN.

Like, I get it, everyone in fic has a squeaky clean butthole and would never have to wipe down before someone sticks their face in there, but REALLY. If anyone takes that at face value, they're going to wind up in some very shitty situations.

—auroraf4d8f205c4

CW / Via myfacewhenever.tumblr.com

There's just. So much moaning. About everything.

Like damn, I wish someone massaged my boob so well that a moan escaped my throat before I could stop it.

—danic494b31e72

Screen Gems / Via giphy.com

And lastly, EVERYONE FALLS ASLEEP AFTER AS THOUGH THERE ARE NO BODILY FLUIDS TO CLEAN UP.

I don't care how much you love cuddling and just want to fall asleep guys, just go grab a towel and wipe yourself down! You don't have to sleep on that wet spot! Love yourself!

—Kayla Morello, Facebook

USA / Via newnownext.com

Responses have been edited for clarity and/or length.

Georgie Stone with her mother, Rebekah Robertson.

Supplied

Melbourne teenager Georgie Stone is having a busy January.

Like most 17-year-olds on the cusp of their final year of high school, she has a stack of preparatory homework that is not going away. And as the Victorian finalist in the Young Australian of the Year awards, Stone is juggling the behind-the-scenes tasks that come with being nominated for the national honour.

There's a luncheon, and a Woolworths function, to attend, and a video needs to be filmed. Plus, she needs to write an acceptance speech, in case she is named as the Young Australian of the Year on January 25. She will meet the prime minister Malcolm Turnbull at a breakfast that same day, and is trying to figure out what to say to him.

Most recently she undertook media training, which she found fascinating.

"They told us what the media might want to know; how to steer away from controversy," Stone said, sitting across from her mother, Rebekah Robertson, in a mid-January interview with BuzzFeed News in a St Kilda cafe.

At 17, Stone is well on her way to becoming a media veteran. In 2014 she and Robertson appeared anonymously in a Four Corners episode. Significant interest surrounded her appearance in a 2016 episode of Australian Story, which told of how, from a very young age, she had identified as a girl, and eventually transitioned.

Through her teenage years Stone has become an advocate for her own rights, and those of other transgender youth, appearing in multiple articles and interviews.

Nonetheless, given that since 2016 there has been an ugly debate surrounding the LGBTI anti-bullying program Safe Schools Coalition, and 2017 saw transgender people targeted during the same-sex marriage postal survey, Stone appreciated the tips on dealing with reporters.

"They could be asking questions about misconceptions, or Safe Schools," Stone said.

Robertson tossed out a few examples of the potential questions that may be aimed at her daughter: "It might be alright for you to be trans, Georgie, but is it a phase for other people? Is this a trend?"

To navigate this media minefield, said Stone, is a a matter of appealing to people on two levels: common humanity, and cold hard facts.

"It’s important to refer back to your own story, but to statistics as well, and the broader community and trends there," she explained. "If the question is, 'Is this just a phase?', then say, 'At the Royal Children’s Hospital, for example, there have been no instances where a child has changed their mind [after going through stage two treatment]'."

"So it’s just using statistics, but also acknowledging and empathising with the other side, so you don’t anger them."

Frankly, it's a lot to remember.

"I’ve got the stats here," Stone said, gesturing to a piece of paper under her phone covered in written lines of information. "I’m going to memorise them."

Stone was awarded the Young People's Human Rights medal by the Australian Human Rights Commission in 2017.

Supplied

On November 30, 2017, the Family Court handed down a landmark decision that meant transgender teenagers no longer have to apply to the Family Court to undergo cross-sex hormone treatment.

Previously, Australia was the only nation in the world that required transgender teenagers to get court authorisation before they could start hormone treatment (oestrogen or testosterone), which is known as "stage two", in the process of transitioning.

For Stone, the court process was fraught. When she started to hit puberty in 2010, faster and earlier than anticipated, transgender youth also needed court authorisation for puberty blockers, or "stage one" treatment.

It was a race against time to get court approval for the blockers before Stone's voice broke, and before her body started to irreversibly change in a way that would have caused her unspeakable distress.

Stone and her family may have got the approval in time, but were shaken by the experience. In a 2013 case known as Re: Jamie, Stone's family, represented by pro bono lawyers, challenged the court requirement and won – kind of. The ruling overturned the court requirement for stage one, but not stage two.

More and more stage two cases were heard in the Family Court, and advocates – as well as judges – questioned whether they belonged there. In early 2016 Stone and a number of other transgender children and their families travelled to Canberra to plead with politicians to change the law. Stone started a petition, gathering more than 15,000 signatures from people who disagreed with sending kids to court for treatment.

But it wasn't until the November ruling, on a case brought by a transgender boy known only as "Kelvin", and his father, that the process stopped. Now, as long as the teen, their parents, and their doctors agree the treatment is in their best interests, no court authorisation is needed.

On the day of the court decision, Stone and Robertson were at the Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne, where Stone has been attending the Gender Service since she was seven. They were with another family and a group of specialists.

In the minutes before the judgement, Stone said, "It was like there was electricity in the air".

When the head of the Department of Adolescent Medicine, Dr. Michelle Telfer, walked through the door, a huge smile on her face, Stone knew they had won.

For transgender youth and their allies, the court decision triggered a sense of relief and outpouring of emotion comparable to the announcement of the "yes" vote in the same-sex marriage survey a fortnight earlier.

"It’s hard to explain — it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, but at the same time I was winded," Stone said.

"It was odd. 'Cause it’s like, after so, so much work. So many battles, so many tears, so much time. We started that process in 2010. How that was finally over for everyone. The thing that kept coming back to my mind was, this has changed everything."

Georgie Stone with The Royal Children's Hospital's Dr Michelle Telfer after the Family Court ruling on November 30.

Melissa Iaria / AAPIMAGE

Now the court battle is over, Stone plans to focus her advocacy on fundraising. She will raise money for the Trans20 Project, an Australia-first longitudinal study of transgender and gender diverse youth, running over 20 years, conducted through the Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne.

Given the lingering doubts over transgender issues in the community – the precise reason for Stone's sheet of written facts – advocates see the collection of such data as crucial for ensuring future generations of transgender children can get the best treatment.

Stone has almost finished running the gauntlet of being a transgender teen. She and her twin brother, Harry, turn 18 in May. Stone is most excited to undergo gender affirmation surgery in July, but getting a drink at a bar with her best friend, Leah, runs a close second.

Stone acknowledges how unusual her supported path to being a transgender woman has been.

She looks me in the eye. "I am very fortunate. I am very lucky. I have a family who supported me, and I had early intervention, so I’m very, very fortunate. And a lot of kids are a lot worse off than me."

It is partly because of that support that Stone has been able to tell her story, which has spread more widely than she and her family could have imagined. According to her biography for the Young Australian of the Year nomination, several organisations have used Stone's appearances on Four Corners and Australian Story for training and education, including schools and the NSW Police Force.

Robertson said inviting people into their lives has been the best tactic, on a personal and national level.

"Especially in an environment that’s so toxic towards trans and gender diverse young people," she said. "I really want to invite people in as much as possible.

Georgie (right) with her twin brother Harry.

Supplied

"In terms of our private lives, that’s what’s always worked for us. Family members who have struggled with it ... it comes from not knowing and being really fearful. As with all things, when you have a personal experience of it, you can grasp it better.

"A lot of families that I know personally can feel really guilty that they’re not out there trying to change the world. I always say to them, the best form of advocacy you can do is raise a healthy child who is positive about their future. Because that changes everyone around you."

Robertson closely follows prominent opponents of transgender rights in Australia. She said she wants to "bear witness" to what is being said, as well as seeing it as a responsibility as an advocate to know what is going on. Another reason, Robertson says, is that she handles the "gross stuff" so her teenage daughter does not have to.

Stone is on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and cops the usual abuse that accompanies being an out transgender advocate. Trolls do not discriminate based on age. But, she said, it rarely bothers her.

"I don’t listen to, respond to, or take in the ‘opposite’ side, I suppose," Stone said. "I see tweets about me that are negative, regularly. But I don’t usually care, I don’t respond."

There are other things to think about, including her final year of high school. Stone, who is co-captain of Elwood College for 2018, has an answer ready to every Year 12 student's most dreaded question: "So what are your plans for after school?"

Music was a professional dream for a long time. "My long term passion since I was eight has always been singing. I always wrote songs, it was a coping mechanism for me."

But now a different career is front and centre: "I’ve actually been thinking about journalism."

Why? After her own story has been told so many times, Stone wants to try her hand at telling other people's.

"Storytelling is the thing I love about music and songwriting," she said. "Mum and dad are both actors, they tell stories for a living. I’ve always grown up around stories, and journalism is another way of telling stories."

Broadcast is what she has in mind, though she likes writing too. "I just want to try it. Because I speak a lot. I talk, like, way too much."

Stone's interests are reflected in her celebrity heroes; she lists P!NK and Taylor Swift as her musical idols, and Emma Watson as the woman whose blend of acting and advocacy led her to identify as a feminist.

Like many thousands of girls across the world, Stone saw herself in Watson's portrayal of Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series.

"The character of Hermione was someone you really related to," Robertson said. "The bookishness, being prepared, all of those things are real Georgie traits."

"Inadvertently bossy!” Stone added.

But perhaps the most significant idol in Stone's life is a journalist too: American activist and TV host Janet Mock, who came out as transgender in an article in Marie Claire in 2011.

Janet Mock.

Dimitrios Kambouris

Stone was 11. The moment she first saw the picture of Mock, out and proud in the pages of a magazine, is seared into her brain.

"I remember mum showing me a picture of her and the article, and thinking, that could be me," she said. "I could get there."

Now, Stone is there. In fact, she is to many young Australians what Mock was to her: the first transgender person they could see, and in who they could see themselves.

She often gets messages from other trans kids who explain what Stone sharing her story has meant to them.

"Thank you so much for the work you do, you’ve made me realise I can be who I am, you’ve given me hope," Stone said, recalling the messages with a touch of shyness in her voice.

"Some say some really nice things like 'you’re a real inspiration, you’re my idol'," she said. "Often I don’t know what to say back. It just really touches my heart.

"I normally say, if there’s anything else they need I’m here, and thank you. And keep going, and it’ll be OK."

From left: Stefania Zaccari, Massi, Allison Blixt, and Lucas

Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

Allison Blixt was standing with her wife, Stefania Zaccari, at the counter of the US embassy in London when a member of staff started asking her whose eggs were used to make their first child, Lucas.

It was 2015, two months after Lucas was born, and the beginning of an interrogation that would leave Blixt stunned and lead, this week, to a landmark lawsuit.

The official told her that despite Blixt being a US citizen, despite her and Zaccari being married, and despite both of them being named on Lucas’s birth certificate as the parents, because Blixt did not give birth to Lucas – and Zaccari, an Italian citizen, did – she could not register him as a US citizen.

It would mean they would never be able to return to Blixt’s home country and live as a family. The same would not have been the case, she told BuzzFeed News from their home in south London, had she been in a heterosexual relationship.

“I was in shock,” she said. “Tears started going down my face.”

On Monday, the couple filed a lawsuit against the US State Department, alongside another same-sex couple, claiming the department’s policy contravened the Immigration and Nationality Act.

Although this law enables children to acquire the citizenship of an American married parent, the State Department's interpretation of this insists on a blood or biological relationship – either genetic or gestational.

Therefore, for same-sex couples who use certain fertility treatments – in Blixt and Zaccari’s case, a sperm donor – the same right is not granted. Adopted children, however, are granted citizenship. It is, said Blixt, inconsistent, nonsensical, and discriminatory.

She and Zaccari sat in their living room with Lucas, now 3, playing on the floor as they explained to BuzzFeed News what happened to them and what it has meant.

That day in the embassy, said Blixt, the questions kept coming as the official attempted to ascertain whether Lucas met the criteria for citizenship. The family were standing at the counter’s window, in view of other members of the public. After asking whose eggs were used to conceive Lucas, the member of staff, said Blixt, inquired “Who carried him?” and “Where is the donor from?”

Astonished, Blixt, a former corporate lawyer, said she began asking why they were being questioned in this manner: “Where are we going with this? How does that even matter?”

But when Blixt complied and told the official that the donor was not from the US, and that she did not give birth to Lucas, the conclusion came swiftly. “She says, ‘OK, well under those conditions Lucas doesn’t get citizenship.’”

As Blixt started to cry, Zaccari started challenging the decision, to no avail. “I was basically saying, ‘Are you serious?’” said Zaccari.

With no recourse against the refusal available at the embassy, the couple left.

Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

“I was just devastated and came home,” said Blixt. “The lawyer in me was like, ‘I have to find out the answer – why is this the case?’”

The couple began to contact friends in the US who might be able to help and were soon introduced to Immigration Equality, an advocacy group that focuses particularly on LGBT immigration cases. In the meantime, however, Blixt and Zaccari tried to get on with their lives, raising Lucas, working, and visiting the US when they could.

In 2017, they had another child, Massi, also by sperm donor. This time, Blixt gave birth. Soon after, they returned to the embassy and applied for US citizenship for both their sons. After delivering their application a member of staff took them to a side counter.

“They said, ‘Do you realise that Lucas is going to be denied even though Massi is going to get citizenship?’”

Despite Blixt's attempts to explain their predicament, a conversation with another official a couple of hours later confirmed the decision: Her youngest child would inherit her citizenship but her eldest would not. “One of the managers said, ‘You’re not his [Lucas’s] gestational or genetic mother and that’s what the State Department policy says you have to be.’”

The couple asked that the application be processed anyway, to ensure they could legally challenge the refusal. Blixt said the member of staff, when told of the proposed legal action, informed the couple they were not the first to be in this situation and embassy staff would therefore follow the case with interest.

It is, said Blixt, a case of “flat-out discrimination”.

Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

“If we had used assisted contraception but were a straight couple, they never would have said, ‘Whose eggs are they and whose sperm is it?’ because there’s a presumption that if you’re married and you have a child that that child is the child of the marriage. But we walk in the embassy and they know there’s something missing there – [that] we had to have used some kind of assisted conception.”

“There is no such thing as equality for us,” added Zaccari.

For Blixt, it is as if her own government deems her a second-class mother to her eldest child.

“As lesser,” she said. “It was bad enough when it was just Lucas, but then having Massi brings it even more to the fore – you’re saying I’m a different mother to one than to the other? That’s absolutely not true. To me they are the same and to Stefania they are the same.”

This conclusion by the US government has served to remind Blixt that their family is different, “other”, she said.

“Normally, day to day, we don’t think about this stuff, because we’re just a family like any other: We take our kids to nursery, we go to work, we want the best for them, we go on holiday, we get annoyed, we have fun. But when that happened it brought to the surface that we’re not just a normal family, because we’re not viewed the same by the government as other families.”

By contrast, the country in which they live – the UK – has no such policy and in the first instance enabled them to live in London and have a civil partnership in 2009, which was later upgraded to a marriage. “How am I having more rights here where I wasn’t a citizen than I was having in my own country?” said Blixt. “How is the UK more supportive of me than the US?”

The circumstances of this citizenship refusal, said Blixt, serve only to underline the existing barriers they faced from their own countries as a same-sex couple.

She and Zaccari met in a bar in New York in 2006, where Blixt was living and Zaccari, from Rome, was visiting on holiday. There was an immediate attraction, so much so that the pair spent the rest of Zaccari’s holiday together.

It was the beginning of what would become a long-distance relationship with the women visiting each other between Rome and New York. After just three weeks, the intensity of their feelings led to a conversation in the street that they remember word-for-word even today.

“She said, ‘I love you’, and I’m [thinking], ‘This can’t be possible’ and then I thought, ‘I do too, but how can that be?’” After seven months, they tried to split, aware how impractical, if not impossible, a transatlantic relationship would be. But it didn’t work – they knew they had to be together and so began to explore different options. Italy at the time did not recognise same-sex relationships and nor did the US.

Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

They both wanted to live in New York but none of the possible routes – student visa, sponsorship from an employer – were feasible. It left one option: moving to London, where Blixt’s firm had an office and where Zaccari could live as an EU citizen. They thought this would solve all the obstacles facing them as a couple and as future parents. With the support of their friends and families, they came to London to start a new life.

When, therefore, the US embassy told them otherwise, it invoked all the anger Blixt had felt in 2008 when she realised the US would not allow her to bring her partner to her own country.

“It all came back to me,” she said. But this time, “It’s not just about me, it’s about my child.”

The only possible solution to Lucas’s citizenship problem, said Blixt, would be for her to apply as his stepmother. “I’m his mother, not his stepmother,” she said. “I’m on his birth certificate. Out of principle: no.”

But even if she were to try as his stepmother, it would not provide Lucas with birthright citizenship, which provides the full rights available to Americans, such as running for the highest office.

The denial of citizenship has already begun to take effect on the family. On maternity leave with Massi, the family travelled to the US to spend time with Blixt’s parents, and would have liked to have stayed longer but had to return within 90 days in accordance with the tourist visa limitations on non-US citizens. It was a foreshadowing, said Blixt, of what they will face should they attempt to move to the US permanently.

But despite being refused twice, Blixt is optimistic that they will win the case for Lucas. Because it is a matter of interpretation of the existing law rather than a need for a new one, it does not need to go through Congress and the judge assigned to the case could instruct the State Department to make a change – or the department could decide to change its rules before then.

A petition has also been set up for members of the public to voice their concerns about the policy to the State Department.

Blixt and Zaccari have had to tighten up personal security on social media and other platforms in fear of a backlash as the case and publicity mounts, but they remain determined to keep fighting for both their sake and others in similar situations.

“It doesn’t just affect us,” said Blixt. “I’m not going to let it go.”

The State Department did not respond to a request for comment prior to publication.

UPDATE:

Following the publication of this story, a Department of State official told BuzzFeed News: “We do not comment on pending litigation.”

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